The Heather Channel
by Cke1st
Summary: Heather is back, this time as a result of tragedy. The results of that tragedy will result in the unthinkable – Heather marrying Hiccup! But is it all just another deceitful game of hers, and if it is, how is she playing it? Heathercup, Hiccstrid. Rated T for adult themes and some dark stuff (be sure to read the trigger warning in Chapter 1); the language is all K.
1. Chapter 1

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 1

A/N Heather is back, this time as a result of tragedy. The results of that tragedy might result in the unthinkable – Heather marrying Hiccup! Or is it all another deceitful game of hers?

Just to make things interesting, I've sprinkled the story with references to other movies, including Apocalypse Now, The Godfather, The Little Mermaid, The Princess Bride, and Titanic.

**WARNING:** this story, and this chapter in particular, contains a female character dealing with the after-effects of an attack of a very personal kind. The attack itself is **not** described. I don't want to blindside any readers who might be upset or affected by this. I don't usually write about dark stuff like this, but I couldn't think of any other way to set up the story I wanted to tell. That, and some other adult themes, is the reason for the T rating. The language is all K.

**o**

Five assorted dragons skimmed the ocean off the coasts of Berk, their riders indulging in a real live joyride. This wasn't one of Hiccup's training exercises, and they weren't responding to any emergency. They were just looking for Trader Johann. He was due to arrive at Berk any day now, and each teen hoped to be the first to spot him, just for the fun of it. Of course, they didn't know for a fact that he was within fifty miles of them. He always arrived when he got there, and not a moment before. Still, it was fun to get away from the chores of the Dragon Training Academy and just _fly!_

The formation sorted itself out the way it usually did. At the front, Toothless and Stormfly contended for the lead, with Hiccup slightly in front and Astrid slightly irritated by this. Behind them, Hookfang and Barf and Belch flew side by side so their riders could exchange insults. Meatlug brought up the rear, but flew above the others – Fishlegs had figured out that he could see further from higher up, which helped offset his dragon's slower speed in the air.

Astrid saw the ship first, probably because Hiccup had turned away at that moment to gloat. They all changed course to close in on it.

"That ship looks different," Astrid noticed.

"I don't think that's Trader Johann," Fishlegs called down.

"Let's fly by and say hello anyway," suggested Hiccup.

Their first clue was that Johann never trailed a jolly-boat behind his ship. The second clue was that Johann's crew consisted entirely of Johann, while this ship had about twelve men on board. The real clue was when those men threw a cluster of spears at the dragons as they sailed by.

Their targets were Toothless and Stormfly, both of whom were agile enough to spin and dodge the attack. Everyone pulled up and away before the sailors could throw spears at the more ponderous dragons. They formed their conference circle.

"I say we fire at will!" Ruffnut suggested.

"Sounds good! Which one of them is Will?" her brother wondered.

"We can't just flame people because they're scared of dragons!" Astrid said. "Not everybody knows about Berk and our peaceful dragons."

"Actually, I think Ruff is almost right," Hiccup replied. "Look in the stern of that ship; there's a man and a woman tied up. I think that's a pirate ship. Here's the plan..."

A minute later, Hookfang approached the hostile ship from the front. A squirt of flame set both the mast and the sail on fire. A moment later, Toothless dove and blasted the deck right where the mast joined it. The burning mast slowly toppled forward, covering the entire front of the ship with the flaming sail. The men in the front quickly jumped overboard, followed by the men in back, who realized their entire ship would soon be a cauldron of flames.

Now Stormfly swooped in and plucked the tied-up man off the deck. Meatlug, right behind them, lifted off with the woman. Barf now covered the ship with the smoky ingredients for a final blast.

"I love the smell of green gas in the morning!" Tuffnut crowed. "It smells like... Vikingness!" Belch sparked, and when the smoke cleared, the splintered remains of the ship were sinking into the depths.

The pirates swam for their jolly-boat, cut the painter before the sinking ship dragged it down, and climbed in. Astrid glided by at low altitude. "You guys should find another line of work," she taunted them. "Piracy isn't working out for you!" Their response was unprintable.

"Hey, that's no way to talk to a lady!" Snotlout shouted. His dragon banked and dove at the boat.

"No fires, Lout! No fires!" Hiccup called desperately.

"Well, what are we going to do? Let them get away?"

"No." Hiccup's eyes narrowed. "No, we're not letting them get away. Lout, why don't you grab that tow rope and bring them back to Berk with us? Nice and fast?"

"Oh, ho ho! You got it, Hiccup!" Hookfang caught the boat's painter with a back claw and took off at very low altitude. Until the invention of the speedboat nearly 1500 years later, no boat would bounce across the waves as fast as that jolly-boat. It is doubtful if any boat's crew was ever more terrified of the ride than this crew was. They held on for dear life and cursed the day they'd taken up piracy.

Back in Berk, the pirates were tied and led off to an empty warehouse, where they were kept under guard until Stoick could convene a proper trial. The man and woman were gently lowered to the cliffs near the Academy ring, where volunteers untied them and helped them stand. The dragon riders landed and took a look at the people they'd rescued.

"Don't I know you?" Hiccup asked.

"Did you see any sign of another ship while you were up there?" the man asked anxiously.

"No, we didn't, but..."

Astrid cut in. "You're Heather's parents, aren't you?"

The mother stepped up to Hiccup. "They left her behind on our ship when they attacked us! They drilled holes in the hull – it's either sinking or already sunk! Please, can you fly out and try to find her?"

Hiccup thought fast. "Ruff, Tuff, you fly back the way we were going when we found that pirate ship, and keep searching to the west. Lout, fly south; Legs, search to the southwest. Astrid, you've got the northwest. I'll fly north."

"Hiccup, are you sure you want to go alone?" Astrid wondered. "Remember what happened the last time you and Heather spent any time together?"

"I remember," he nodded ruefully. "But we have to split up so we can cover all that ocean in a hurry. If I do find her, I don't think I'll have much time to make a fool of myself again, not if she's on a sinking ship."

After about twenty minutes of flying, Hiccup spotted the ship . It was a typical Viking coastal ship, except that the waves were nearly level with the deck, and its crew consisted of one motionless girl.

"Toothless, if you land on that ship, you'll sink it," Hiccup said. "I'll drop onto the deck." The dragon slowly flew over the sinking ship and Hiccup slid off his saddle, making the short drop to the deck below. His metal leg landed on a wet spot and he fell flat, scrambling to recover his balance. Toothless flew in circles, waiting for a command from Hiccup.

He approached the one crew. She was kneeling on the deck, doubled over, oblivious to her rescuer or the state of her ship. Slowly, she looked up at him. Her face showed several bruises.

"You again?" she asked softly. Her eyes were filled with such pain, Hiccup was almost knocked back at the sight of them.

"I need to get you out of here," he said, trying not to sound too harsh. "Maybe you haven't noticed, but this ship is going to join Ægir's forever-fleet in a few minutes."

She shook her head. "Please, just let me die."

After a long pause, he asked, "Heather, what happened?"

She looked down at the deck again. "The pirates came... they took my parents away onto their ship... then four of them came back for me..." She broke off, sobbing. "There were _four_ of them!"

Hiccup's breath caught in his throat. For almost a minute, he said nothing.

"I have to get you back to Berk," he finally said. "Your parents are waiting for you."

That brought her head up. "They're still alive?"

"Alive and well, and worried sick about you. Toothless and I will bring you back." As he called his dragon in, he rested a hand on Heather's shoulder.

She pulled away. "Hiccup, please... don't touch me."

They flew home in dismal silence.

**o**

A/N  
Ægir – the Norse sea god


	2. Chapter 2

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 2

"Hiccup? You need to join us. This concerns you."

Hiccup had never seen that look in his father's eyes before. He saw anger, sadness, fear, and several other things he couldn't name. He excused himself from the forge and followed his father home. Heather and her parents arrived there at about the same time. Stoick firmly closed the door, and they all sat around the fire pit.

"This is not going to be a happy conversation," Stoick began. "I've had a quick talk with Mr. and Mrs. Ketilsson about... the thing that has happened to their daughter. I think you already know about that, Hiccup?" He nodded sadly.

Heather's mother began. "We know we're not the most popular people in Berk. If we could just sail away, we would. But it's become more complicated than that."

Mr. Ketilsson took up the story. "As you can tell by our clothing, we're not a wealthy family. Our line is old and honorable, but there isn't much else to say about us. We were arranging a marriage for Heather to the second son of a powerful family in a nearby tribe. It would have been a great advantage to us, and it would have added to their prestige."

"You say you '_were_ arranging' a marriage?" Stoick asked.

"The... the thing that has happened to Heather... is going to make that hard," Mr. Ketilsson said. "The young man, Bergsveinn, is very traditional in his thinking, and has a strong sense of honor. We're afraid that, if he marries Heather and then finds out that she isn't a pure maiden... he'll kill her." Heather went a bit pale at that, though her bleak expression didn't change.

"The only thing that might let her escape that," her father went on, "is if he found someone else to blame for her, uhh... her state. I don't expect that those pirates are going to live much longer, so he won't be able to take revenge on them. He'd probably blame Hiccup."

"_Me?_" Hiccup gasped. "You're not accusing me...?"

"No, we aren't," Mrs. Ketilsson said. "You've shown yourself to be honest and honorable, and we're thankful that you saved our daughter. Bergsveinn won't see it that way. All he'll consider is that the two of you spent an unknown amount of time on that ship before it sank, and... he'll kill you instead of Heather. That will satisfy his sense of honor. I can't think of any way you could prove your innocence to him."

"Heather, wouldn't you tell him it's not my fault?"

She didn't look up. "If I convince him that you're not to blame, there are no targets left for him except me."

"Great," Hiccup groaned. "So, by saving your life, I fixed it so one of us gets murdered."

"I _asked_ you to just let me die," she sighed.

"There is one way out," her father said.

"The Ketilssons have suggested that you marry Heather," Stoick continued.

"_What?_" both Hiccup and Heather said at once.

"Not a real marriage," Mr. Ketilsson went on quickly. "Just go through the ceremony, live in the same house for the length of the honeymoon, then we'll find some pretext for a quiet divorce. That will explain to the world why Heather isn't a pure maiden any more, with no suggestion of dishonor. Bergsveinn will still marry her; she's still pretty and our family is still honorable. You two won't... uhh... you won't do what married couples do, so Hiccup will still be an honorable young man, as a chief's son should be. When it's done, we'll sail away and never come back, and Hiccup can go back to his life, just like it was before."

"It seems reasonable, son," Stoick said. "It might save your life."

"Or not," Hiccup came back. "Maybe this Bergsveinn won't kill me, but Astrid will."

"Oh, _her_. The young man has a lady friend," Stoick explained. "They aren't betrothed yet. Hiccup, you weren't supposed to know this, but the only thing we're waiting for is that the Hoffersons haven't saved up a decent dowry yet. I'm not sure they ever will."

"Dad, I couldn't care less about that – you know that!"

"Yes, but you're the son of the chief; you can't be had too cheaply. The issue with this lady friend is that she can be somewhat, ummm, how shall I say it..."

"Violent," Hiccup finished the sentence. "Vengeful. Homicidal. Even if I could explain this arrangement to her, I don't know if I'd survive the conversation."

"You _can't_ tell her," Mr. Ketilsson said urgently. "You can't tell _anyone_. If word _ever_ got back to Bergsveinn that we arranged things like this to deceive him, he'd kill both of you. He might even demand a _hólmgang,_ a ritual duel, against _me._ You'll have to maintain the fiction until after he and Heather are married. We'd feel better if you kept it up for life, but we're in no position to give you an order like that."

"Why me?" Hiccup asked. "Couldn't some guy from your own village marry her?"

"You're already involved," Mrs. Ketilsson explained. "If someone stepped out of the blue and married her for a month, Bergsveinn would suspect something."

"What if you just broke it off with this Bergsveinn?" Hiccup asked next. "Aren't there any other young men in your tribe who would want to marry a pretty girl?"

"We've already started the negotiations with his family," Mr. Ketilsson answered. "If we break it off without a good reason... he and his family won't take it well. They'd use their influence so no other boy within a hundred miles would dare to go near her. They might destroy us financially as well."

"So what you're telling me," Hiccup said, "is that, thanks to this berserk not-quite-fiancée of hers, I have to marry this girl I hardly even know, but not _really_ marry her, then divorce her, and never tell the girl I love why I did it? Because if I don't, somebody is going to die, and it might be me?"

"Thank you for summing that up," Heather said quietly. Hiccup gave her a startled look.

He hid his head in his hands for a few seconds. He shook his head and exhaled deeply.

"Would it be okay if I talked to Heather about this for a few minutes?"

"I'm afraid you don't have much choice here, son," Stoick said.

"I kind of figured that, Dad. But I'd feel a lot happier if I could, you know, come to terms with it? I hate feeling like I'm being pushed into this at the point of a spear."

"If it makes you feel better, then I have no objection." The chief glanced at Heather's parents, who nodded. "You can talk in your room upstairs. We'll be down here, of course."

"Of course. Heather?" She slowly rose and slouched up the stairs; he followed.

Up in his room, he gestured for her to sit on the bed, while he sat on his drawing stool. He had never seen anyone so lifeless. She hadn't made eye contact with him since he'd helped her climb onto Toothless' back, as the ship sank beneath them. Hiccup felt totally awkward, but he also felt like they ought to, well, _say_ something to each other. After all, they were about to become engaged.

"I know this whole arrangement has to be the last thing you'd want," he began.

"I just don't care," she sighed.

"Please try to understand me," he urged her. "I'm not reluctant to do this because of anything about you. I'm not saying you aren't pretty, or that you aren't nice. It's just that –"

"It's because I'm a lying, deceiving witch," she finished.

"That's not what I was going to say," he protested. "The problem is, Bergsveinn isn't the only one with a sense of honor. _I_ have ideas about what marriage is supposed to mean. I know it's usually about duty and alliances and continuing the family lines, but I always thought there was supposed to be some _love_ in there somewhere, after the wedding if not before. Marrying for a month, just to deceive somebody, to save somebody else from getting killed...? That never made it onto the menu for me."

"You didn't ask to be put in this situation," she shot back, her voice showing some actual emotion. "You know what? I didn't, either. But I have to be a good little Viking girl and do what my parents arrange. I have _no_ choice. I can't even run away – I'm stuck on this island! Where would I go? How would I get there? How would I live, with no money? I don't have any options but to go along with this.

"You _have_ options, Hiccup. You can say 'no' and let me get strangled during my honeymoon, assuming Bergsveinn doesn't run a sword through you first; or you can make yourself miserable and ruin your own love life by acting like you're married to me for four weeks. Do you like those choices? Did I ever tell you how life stinks sometimes? Welcome to _my_ world!"

Hiccup stared silently. At last, he said, "I had one more worry. Your parents said they want a prestigious marriage for you. What if they decide they're happy with you being married to the future chief of Berk, and the divorce deal falls through?"

"If Bergsveinn's family thought they'd been double-crossed, they'd ruin my parents and my entire family," she said quietly. "I wouldn't let that happen."

"It sounds like they're marrying you into a really fun bunch," he said.

"What am I supposed to do about that?" she snapped. "What have I got to work with? I'm not related to a chief, like you are! We have no money, no influence, no powerful relatives, _nothing!_ All I've got is my pretty face and... thanks to those pirates, that's all. I have to take what I'm given, and be thankful if that's more than nothing."

"Like my dad said, I don't really have any choices here, either," Hiccup said slowly. "In the past, you've given me reasons to not trust you, but I don't want to see you dead. I don't want to die, either. I don't know what I'm going to tell Astrid... maybe I'll just let her beat me senseless and she'll feel better."

"I don't recommend the beaten-senseless part," she said softly.

"Speaking of that, would you be willing to let Gothi look at you? She's our town healer. She won't talk, because she _can't_ talk – she communicates by drawing pictures. I'd feel better knowing you weren't injured in some way."

"Why not?" she said bitterly. "Maybe if I died of some internal injury, that would solve everybody's problems."

"Heather, don't talk like that!" He stood and stepped over to her. He almost took her hand, but saw a flash of fear in her eyes and pulled his own hand back at the last moment. He felt _so_ awkward! He wanted to comfort her, but he knew he should only look and not touch.

"I don't want that to happen," he said at last. "I don't want _anything_ bad to happen to you. I don't hate you, Heather."

She looked up with the barest hint of a smile. "That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in days."

"So you want to do this thing? With me?"

She nodded. "I hate to put it this way when you're trying to be so reasonable, but yes. I'd rather act married to you for a month than die."

"_That's_ the nicest thing anyone has said to _me_ in days," he smiled. "Let's go tell our parents." She preceded him down the stairs. He glanced at his father and nodded, then stood in front of Heather's parents.

He took a deep breath. Even though it wasn't for real, it was still hard to say the words.

"Mr. and Mrs. Ketilsson, I am asking you for your daughter Heather's hand in marriage."

_And may the gods help me,_ he added mentally. _I've got a really bad feeling I'm going to need it._


	3. Chapter 3

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 3

The announcement of Heather and Hiccup's engagement sent shock waves through the entire community.

The socially-conscious Vikings wondered who these strangers were, and how they had bewitched the chief into handing over his only son to them. The money-conscious Vikings wondered how a family of pirate victims could have scraped up a dowry fit for the son of a chief. The traditionally-minded Vikings wondered why the arrangements were being rushed so quickly, without any regard for how long these things ought to take.

The Hofferson family were horrified. And Astrid honestly could not decide whether she wanted to die or kill someone. Under her steel shoulder pads and her tough demeanor, there was a girl inside, and Hiccup's sudden, unexplained engagement to Heather had run a spike run through that girl's heart.

Ruffnut found her in the forest, doing something Ruff had never seen her do before: crying. She'd thrown her axe so hard, she couldn't remove it from the tree trunk she'd embedded it into, and that was the last straw for her. Ruff was not the most romantic girl who'd ever lived, but she knew that her best friend and Hiccup had something serious going. How could he suddenly agree to marry a girl he hardly even knew? Especially when the parts that he _did_ know were all _bad?_ And why were they in such a hurry? She let her friend cry it out on her shoulder; it took a while.

"Ruff, is she a _seið-kona_, a witch?" Astrid finally asked. Her eyes were red from crying. "How does she keep _doing_ this to boys, especially Hiccup?"

"I heard that this thing was arranged by the parents," Ruff said. "Maybe he didn't have any choice."

"But _why?_ It doesn't make any sense!" Astrid sobbed.

"Nobody understands it," Ruff replied. "Everyone in town is talking about it, and no one gets it."

"Great! The whole town is talking about _my_ humiliation," the other girl snapped, changing from sad to mad in seconds. "How can I pay him back for this? What would you do to him if it was you, Ruff?"

"I'd get the facts before I killed him. If he doesn't have any choice, I wouldn't want to hurt him for that. Not too much, anyway."

"Oh, I want to hurt him!" Astrid exclaimed. "I want to hurt him, and drag him away, and kiss him, and beat him senseless, and scream at him, and hug him, and throw my axe at that witch, and..." She buried her face in her hands. "Ruff, how am I going to get him back? He's getting married in a _week!_"

"How did you get him back last time Heather was here?"

"I did everything I could to make him see reason, but he wouldn't listen. He didn't believe me until she overplayed her hand."

"She's got him _engaged,_ Astrid. It's kind of hard to overplay a hand like that. Going after her isn't going to work. You need to talk to _him_. And... you need to freshen up a bit first. Lose the red eyes, straighten your hair, maybe even try a little bit of fragrance."

"Ruff, Hiccup never notices things like that!"

"Maybe he doesn't, but if you're going to the mattresses with that _seið-kona__,_ you'll need every advantage you can get."

_Ruff is right,_ Astrid decided as she walked back to the village. She'd skip the fragrance, though; Hiccup would never notice it over the smells of the forge, which was where she planned to meet him. But the red eyes and the disheveled hair had to go. She even bathed, for the second time this week, just to make sure she'd seem as pleasant as possible.

As she'd guessed, Hiccup was hard at work in the forge. He was hammering out something long, probably a sword. For a moment, she just watched him through the window, marveling at his skill. Then reality hit her. _That would be the sword he was going to use in his wedding ceremony_. She took a deep breath and stepped into the forge building.

"Oh, hi, Astrid." His tone was the same as it had always been when she visited him at work. He was acting as though nothing had changed.

"Hiccup, can we talk?"

"Sure, but I have to finish this first. If it loses the heat before I finish shaping it, I'll have to reheat it, and it won't be as strong as it should be." She nodded mutely and stepped back as he resumed his hammering. How could a boy with such weak arms change the shape of a sheet of steel, and form it into a deadly weapon? _'He's stronger than you think'_ was the only answer she could come up with.

It was certainly a deadly weapon. Just _looking_ at it was killing her.

At last he was done. The blade was formed; he could sharpen it and add the details at leisure. "What's on your mind?" he asked as he removed his heavy apron.

"You. Me. Her. Us. All of the above." She sounded like a babbling idiot to herself. "Please, tell me what's going on!"

He looked away and took several deep breaths. "That's the hardest part about this, Astrid. I _can't_ tell you."

"Why not? Are you under a spell?"

"No, I'm under a promise."

"You never made any promises to _me!_" she protested. "Hiccup, I... I'm begging you..."

He held up a hand for silence. They heard someone approaching. "Hiccup? Are you in there?"

"Yes, Heather, I am," he answered. She walked in, saw Astrid, and stopped in mid-step.

"Oh. Hello," she said to Astrid. "Is something going on between my fiancée and you?"

Hiccup was struck by how different the two of them looked, compared to the last time they'd confronted each other. Then, Astrid had looked frustrated and angry, while Heather was cool and confident. Now, Astrid looked nearly frantic, while Heather seemed deflated and lifeless. It was as though both of them were moving away from "normal," but in opposite directions.

He knew they both had good reasons for feeling the way they did. He couldn't blame either of them. He was stuck in the middle, which was a place he hated to be. But if that's where he was, then he'd use that position to try and take control of the situation. He took another look at Astrid, and made a decision.

"Heather, she has to know why we're doing this."

That brought a semblance of life to her features. "She _can't!_ You heard what my parents said! No one can ever know! You agreed to that!"

"I agreed with _them,_" Hiccup shot back. "_That_ was my deal with them; _this_ is my deal with _you_. I know she won't talk. Either she knows the reasons why, or the whole deal is off."

"It might be you who gets killed, if that happens," Heather said.

"I'll take that chance. Doing this to Astrid is bad enough, even if she _did_ know why. She has the right to know." Astrid was desperately trying to piece all these obscure clues together into some kind of big picture, and completely failing.

Finally, Heather shrugged. "I don't want any part of this. Tell her what you like. After all, the worst that could happen is I could get killed. Just remember, you're engaged to _me_." She turned and left the forge.

"Sit down, Astrid. Please." She found a bench that wasn't totally begrimed with soot, folded her arms, and glared at him; he sat on the first thing he could find.

He told her _everything,_ including the need for absolute secrecy.

"And you're just going along with this?" Astrid clearly couldn't believe it.

"I can't see any other way," he said lamely.

"I could probably think of a few if I tried," she shot back. "Don't you learn _anything_ from the past?"

He hung his head. "Astrid, the way I acted the last time she was here... that was one of the lowest points of my life. I betrayed you, our friendship, myself, and all common sense. Yes, I learned a few things from that. One of those things is that I can't always trust myself to be right all the time.

"This isn't like last time. My father and her parents all approve of it, so it isn't just a case of me being stupid. We know the pirates were real; they're going to be tried tomorrow, and probably executed. I can't prove what she said they did to her, but I can't think of any other reason why she'd want to stay on a sinking ship and die; that's not like her.

"But let's assume, for the sake of argument, that my brain is under siege again. How are _you_ reading this whole thing, Astrid? What do you think is going on, if it's not what it looks like?" He stopped and gazed at her. Half of her still wanted to hit him; the other half wanted to kiss him silly.

"I'm not sure," she began. "Maybe they're just going to collect a nice bride-price from your father and then run off with it?"

"I thought of that already," he answered. "The bride-price and the dowry are the same amount, which means 'almost nothing,' because that's all the Ketilssons have. The morning-gift will be some cheap jewelry to impress the guests without giving much away. We agreed that each family would keep what we got when the marriage ends, so nobody is making any money on the deal."

"There is something very _wrong_ about this whole thing," she said firmly. "Can't you see that? Why don't you just walk away?"

"Because I don't want to die, and I don't want _her_ to die, either," he exclaimed. "I haven't forgotten what she did to us, but she hasn't done anything she deserves to die for."

"What if it's all another lie, and her parents are in on it this time?" Astrid wondered.

"If that's the case, then her parents threw away their ship and all their possessions, risked losing their daughter when the ship sank, and got a bunch of pirates to go along with it," he answered. "It's easier for me to believe Heather than to believe all that."

"It's all just so _wrong!_" she burst out.

"I'm agreeing with you!" he exclaimed. "It's wrong, and before it's done, there are twenty _more_ things that could go wrong, and any of them could ruin my life forever! You don't seriously think I'm _enjoying_ this, do you?"

"I don't see you putting up a fight," she said.

He got to his feet and began pacing back and forth. "Who do I fight? _How_ do I fight? What good could it do? I can walk away from the whole thing right now... and sign somebody's death warrant, maybe hers, maybe mine. Maybe I should fight this Bergsveinn guy? That sounds like a _really_ good way to get myself killed!" He stopped pacing and looked her directly in the eyes. "You don't think I asked for this, do you? I'm hating every moment of it, but from the moment I found her on that sinking ship, my options were gone! I..."

He took a deep breath, and everything came out in a torrent.

"I-love-you-Astrid-and-I'm-stuck-marrying-this-gir l-I-don't-like-and-don't-trust-but-I-don't-want-ei ther-of-us-to-die-and-I-don't-love-_her_-I-love-_you!_" He sat down heavily. "There, I said it. That's the reason I wanted you to know all this.

"Even if it's just for a month, I think it's just as wrong as you do, but I don't see any other way. I was really hoping it was all just me acting stupid again. I was hoping you'd see through her, like you did last time, and you'd tell me what her real game was. If _you_ can't see a realistic way out... then I guess there isn't one."

Part of her was warmed at the thought that he was trusting her judgment like this. Part of her went cold at the thought of him and Heather... even if they didn't do what married people do. And if that dark-haired _seið-kona _did entice him in that direction...

_He said he loved her._

Would that be enough protection against Heather's wiles? Astrid had seen the girl in action. She knew how to turn a boy's head. She had an entire month to work her charms, magical or otherwise.

_He said he loved her._

"I'll _find_ a way," she said grimly, and stalked out of the forge.


	4. Chapter 4

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 4

"I knew you'd come looking for me, Astrid. It was just a matter of time."

Astrid glared at her. "Then you must already know why I'm here. Start talking."

"Shall we walk in the woods?" Heather gestured toward the tree line outside. "This room isn't big enough for two women like us and all our emotions at once."

"Suit yourself." They left Stoick's house in silence and walked out of the village. Once they were among the trees, the stifling emotional pressure between them began to lift, but not much.

"Did Hiccup tell you everything?"

"He told me quite a story," Astrid said.

"Then you understand, I'm not stealing your man?" Heather seemed to be really trying to be nice.

"You're _marrying_ him! If that's not stealing him, then what is?"

"It's not for real, and it's not for keeps!" Heather burst out.

"Maybe that's the plan," Astrid growled, "but plans like that tend to come apart in the middle of the night."

Heather stopped and stared at her. This was the first time Astrid had really looked her in the eyes since this whole thing started. Her pain was palpable.

"Please don't talk to me about the middle of the night," she said, in a voice devoid of inflection. "I keep having nightmares about those men... their faces... their voices..." She blinked and looked away. "Is your woman's heart so _dead_, or so armor-plated, that you can't even imagine what I'm feeling? After what I've been through, a man in the middle of the night is the _last_ thing I want!"

Astrid almost felt compassion for her. Almost. "How long is that feeling going to last?"

"Probably a lot longer than a month, if that's all you're worried about," Heather sniffed. "This is going to be the most loveless, passionless marriage in the entire history of the Vikings! Maybe they'll write a saga about it some day, all about the noble sacrifices Hiccup and Heather made to preserve each other's lives. 'Two households, both alike in dignity...' " She sat down on a fallen tree.

"Do you think I feel noble, Astrid? Do you think I feel dignified? I feel _dirty!_ I've been _used,_ and now _I'm_ doing the using, because my only other choice is to be _dead!_" She looked away. "I wish I _was_ dead. I wish Hiccup had never rescued me. I wish you'd brought your axe with you. We could end this whole stupid game right here, right now."

"That's what you say, Heather. Too bad you have a history of saying things that aren't true."

"I also have a history of wanting things that are good and noble, even though I have rotten ways of going about it," she said heatedly. "Will I tell lies for the sake of my parents? Yes. Will I cooperate with criminals for them? Yes. Will I trap a man into marriage when I don't love him and he loves someone else, if it benefits my parents? Yes! The world has not yet seen how low I'll go for the sake of my family." She looked away. "I just hope I hit bottom soon. This isn't the life I dreamed of when I was a little girl."

"I could almost feel sorry for you," Astrid said softly, "if it wasn't Hiccup in the middle of all this."

"I don't want your pity," Heather replied. "I don't want your compassion, and I certainly don't want your boyfriend! I just want..." She sighed. "I'm never going to get what I want. I'm going to get a husband with big muscles, and a battle scar, and money and influence, and an attitude that could scare trolls away. Everything that most Viking girls want, _I'm_ going to get! Lucky me!" She threw up her hands. "Do you know any girls who want a man like that? Maybe we could work a trade! They can have the ultimate Viking husband, and I'll take someone who's weak and scrawny, someone who listens to me when I talk and cares about how I feel. Someone who would rather hold me than hit me."

"Someone like the one you're about to marry?" Astrid's voice was deceptively calm.

Heather shook her head. "Don't worry, Astrid. I can't keep him. That would cost my family too much. My parents are just as much hostages to Bergsveinn and his clan as they were hostages to Alvin last time. I have to do what their 'captors' demand, no matter how degrading, no matter how _wrong_..."

"I just want to make one thing clear," Astrid said quietly. "I believe that you're hurting. This is hurting me, too. But if _Hiccup_ gets hurt by any of this, then I swear by every star in the sky, I will teach you meanings of the word 'pain' that you can't even imagine."

"I can imagine quite a bit," Heather answered bitterly.

"You have _no idea,_" Astrid replied. "Do we understand each other?"

"I understand you perfectly," Heather said. "I'm not convinced that _you_ understand _me_."

"If you're telling the truth, then I _do_ understand you," Astrid replied. "If you aren't... all bets are off."

**o**

Tuffnut had stopped by the forge to have his double-ended spear sharpened. "I don't understand how it gets dull so fast," he complained. "Can't you sharpen it once, so it _stays_ sharp?"

Hiccup smirked. "It might help if you practiced on targets that weren't so hard, Tuff. When you beat a spear against rocks, or iron poles, or your sister's head, the spear point is going to be the loser every time." He spun up the sharpening stone; sparks were soon flying everywhere.

"There's something else I don't understand," Tuff said. "Everybody knows you and Astrid are all ga-ga for each other. So how come you're marrying this other girl?"

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that," Hiccup shrugged.

"What does Astrid think about it?"

"I can't tell you that, either, Tuff." He turned the blade over.

"We've been friends for years! Can't you tell me _anything?_"

"I can tell you, if you break the point off this end again, you'll need a whole new spearhead, and I can't give those away like I give away free sharpenings. Maybe you should make a wooden target for yourself, instead of a stone one."

"Wood? That seems like it's too easy."

"Tuff, count your blessings. I would give a _lot_ if my life could be 'too easy,' just for a while. Here's your spear. Try not to break it again this week."

Tuffnut stepped out of the forge. Snotlout and Fishlegs were standing right outside the door. "What did he tell you?" Legs asked excitedly.

"Nothing," Tuff answered. "But I get the feeling he's not happy."


	5. Chapter 5

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 5

"We're going flying, Heather. Want to join us?"

She looked dubious. "I don't think Toothless likes me."

"He didn't like Astrid at first, but they warmed up to each other." Hiccup didn't tell Heather how that 'warm-up' had nearly killed Astrid. "You and I are going to be together for a while, and Toothless and I go flying together at least once a day. I'd like you to be part of this." He extended his hand to her.

Heather didn't swat his hand aside the way Astrid had done. She took it, but with some reluctance. She slid onto the saddle behind her betrothed. "How do I hold on?" she asked.

"You hold onto me, I guess," Hiccup said. "I know that's not your favorite thing to do, but Night Furies don't have handles." She hesitantly rested one hand on each of his shoulders.

Toothless wasn't at all sure about this. He recognized this girl. The last time she'd been here, she was bad news on two legs. Liar! Thief! Deceiver! Dragon-stealer! Now Hiccup wanted her to ride with him? Perhaps she needed a good spinning, like Astrid before her...?

But her feelings were not at all like Astrid's had been. The dark-haired girl had no fear or anger, just a deep sadness and some curiosity. Hiccup had no fear or nervousness, either. As far as Toothless could tell, Hiccup just wanted their usual morning flight, but with a passenger.

All righty, then!

The dragon exploded into the air, leaping off the ground so quickly that Heather nearly fell off. She clung to Hiccup's shoulders, then pulled herself closer and wrapped her arms around him. They were going nearly straight up, and the dragon showed no signs of slowing down. "What is he doing?" Heather cried out.

"We always do this," Hiccup said over his shoulder. "He does a few zoom climbs and power dives to warm up."

"Warm up?" she asked as they leveled off. "Warm up for what?"

"For the really crazy stuff!" Hiccup grinned. "Hang on!" At that moment, the dragon did a half-roll, then folded his wings and dove straight down.

Heather didn't scream like Astrid had done on that first flight, but she held onto him much tighter. They plunged down until it seemed too late to pull out. Then Hiccup worked his foot pedal as Toothless stretched out his wings and arched his tail. Misty contrails swept off his wingtips as he pulled out of the dive less than twenty feet above the water. As they whipped across the surface, she looked back, and saw a rooster-tail of spray that their passage was kicking up. Then they were headed upward again.

"You said this was fun, right?" she asked anxiously.

"Greatest feeling in the world!" he answered. "Even riding a Nadder is nothing like this!" She remembered riding Astrid's Nadder; it had not been the smoothest or safest ride she'd ever known. This ride was fairly smooth, but it wasn't even in the same latitude as "safe!" Her death-grip on Hiccup's rib cage didn't slacken.

Three times, they plunged straight down, and three times they zoomed back up nearly a mile. It didn't get any easier for Heather, but her initial abject terror was fading. She realized that Hiccup was totally at ease; this was a normal thing to him, not something unexpected. As they leveled off, the dragon looked back at his rider, as though looking for guidance.

"Let's do a free-fall, bud!" Heather was about to ask what that meant when she saw him unhooking his safety clips. "Heather, can you let go of me for a minute? You can hold onto the edge of the saddle if you need to." Slowly, one hand at a time, she released him and gripped the saddle. As soon as her hands were clear of him, he stood up and jumped.

_Now_ she screamed! He was plunging earthward, head down, just a few feet out of her reach... and smiling. The dragon dove right next to him, and as they matched falling speeds, Toothless reached out a paw and batted Hiccup on the shoulder. He spun like a top for a few seconds, then slowed down and fell straight. After a few more seconds, he reached over, grabbed the saddle, and pulled himself into it. She heard his metal foot latch into the stirrup, and they pulled out of this fourth dive just like they'd pulled out of the first three. Up they went again. She desperately flung her arms around him.

"_Please_ don't ever do that again!" she begged him. "I thought you were... trying to end it all, to get away from me."

"That wouldn't work," he grinned. "Toothless won't let anything bad happen to me."

"You trust your _life_ to this dragon?"

"We've trusted each other with our lives, many times over," he said. "I'm safer with him in the air than I am with most people on the ground." After a long pause, he added, "I guess you don't know how it feels to trust someone that much." She shook her head mutely.

"Can I show you that kind of trust?" he asked.

"Why would you want to do that?" she wondered.

"It seems like a shame, if we're going to get married but we don't trust each other," he said. "Toothless? Straight and level, bud." The dragon grunted and leveled off.

"What are you doing?" she asked nervously.

"First, we're going to switch places. I'm going to walk back behind you, you're going to slide forward, and I'll sit down behind you. Toothless doesn't need my feet on the pedals as long as he doesn't change directions. Let go of me and hold the saddle. Please." She did so, reluctantly. He stood up, turned around, stepped with his good foot onto Toothless' left wing root, and worked his way behind her. "Okay, now slide forward." She did. The front of the saddle felt safer to hold than the sides. He sat down behind her, and placed one hand on each side of her rib cage.

"There. Now you can't fall, because I won't let you. I'd like you to let go with one hand and stretch it straight out at your side, like it was a wing." Slowly, she did as he asked. "Now, do it with the other hand."

"Hiccup... I don't know if I can do that!"

"There's nothing to be afraid of, Heather. I won't let anything bad happen, and neither will Toothless. You need to do this."

She almost contradicted him, but stopped herself. Instead, she asked, "Why is this so important to you?"

"For the next month or so, we're going to be on our honeymoon together," he said. "We're going to do just about everything together, including flying. I don't want you to be afraid to do things with me."

"I don't see what's the big deal," she answered. "So I don't go flying with you for a month; why is that a problem?"

"This marriage might not be real, but it's not a game, either," he replied. "It's going to affect me, it's probably going to change me, in ways I can't even guess at. We'll put in our time, and you'll leave, and I'll probably never see you again, but I'll still have memories. I want them to be good ones. Maybe you feel the same way, or maybe you don't, but I know how _I_ think. I don't want our time together to be something I _want_ to forget."

Very slowly, she uncurled her fingers from around the front of the saddle, held her breath, and stretched her other arm out straight.

"Now what?" she asked.

"Just take a minute, and get used to the idea that I'm not letting you fall," he said. She couldn't see his face, but he sounded as if he were smiling. They silently glided through the air together. She felt him shifting positions.

"What are you doing?" she asked, with a bit less panic in her voice than before.

"The next step is to get up on your knees, instead of sitting. I'm right here, I'm holding onto you; you can't fall."

"Do I have to?" she asked.

"No. But it would make me happy if you did." She thought about that.

She brought her hands in and held onto the saddle. Cautiously, she brought one knee up, then the other. She straightened up as far as she could without letting go. Then she let go. For a moment, she wavered; then his hands, stronger than she'd realized, steadied her. Again she stretched both arms out. She nearly lost her balance once or twice, and each time, he held her steady.

"That's not so bad, is it?" he asked.

"This is... intense," she called back. "It's scary, but it's a good kind of scary."

"Are you ready for the final step?"

"You mean... standing up?" The quaver came back to her voice.

"You've come this far. It would be a shame to turn back now."

Wordlessly, she brought one leg up under her. She felt him shifting his own balance; then he began lifting her up. She slowly stood, and spread her feet apart on Toothless' broad back for balance. She nearly fell; he steadied her. Her breath caught in her throat.

"Breathe," he whispered. "And open your eyes."

She breathed in the air at one mile up, her eyes wide, her arms spread far apart. If she looked straight ahead, she couldn't see the dragon she was standing on. "I'm flying!" she exclaimed.

"You're doing something even better than that," he murmured in her ear. "You're _trusting_."

The air was clear and cold, and whipping past her face like a gale. The clouds were just a few hundred feet above her; the ocean, far below, was just a featureless blue-gray field. The dragon on which she was standing seemed motionless, but every now and then she felt his muscles tighten under her feet as his wings adjusted to the wind. Behind her was the man she would soon marry for a while; he was holding her steady, but she couldn't see him. For Heather, the world was just clouds, ocean, and wind.

She wished this ride never had to end.

When they finally spiraled down and headed back toward land, she let Hiccup return to sitting in front. She wrapped both arms tightly around him, but it wasn't entirely due to fear or insecurity this time.

"Thank you for making me do that," she sighed. "I've been... stuck inside myself for too long. It's nice to see that my heart will go on."

"I figured, if anyone could draw you out, it was Toothless," Hiccup said quietly. "I'm starting to think there's nothing he can't do."

"You made me feel so safe," she added. "I never knew you to be so confident before."

"I guess it's because I'm the world's greatest authority on riding Night Furies," he shrugged.

When they landed, Hiccup slid off first, and helped Heather dismount. She took his hand without hesitation.


	6. Chapter 6

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 6

The wedding included all the traditional elements, as was fitting for the marriage of the chief's son. They sacrificed a pig to the gods and sprinkled the wedding party with the blood, as a way of blessing them. They had the usual ceremony, with the exchanging of swords, rings, and vows, all of which went off without a hitch (but with a bit of prompting from the parents of bride and groom, who understood that their children hadn't had much time to memorize their words). The bride stepped over the threshold of the Mead Hall without tripping, and the groom managed to plunge his sword into the wooden beam that held up the roof. Both of these were good omens for their future together, such as it was.

The groom wore a new suit of clothes, as was fitting – most of his day-to-day clothing was pocked by tiny soot burns from the forge anyway. The bride and her family had come to Berk with nothing but the threadbare clothes on their backs, so the groom's father had paid for a nice, but not extravagant, wedding dress for his new daughter-in-law. He did not let her wear his late wife's bridal crown, however. She wore a crown of woven wildflowers instead; it still looked lovely on her.

The one non-traditional element of the whole ceremony was that there were almost no guests.

No one on Berk knew the bride's family. They all knew the Hoffersons, and everyone shared their hurt and dismay at seeing Astrid's long-time love interest snatched away by this strange girl from another island. No one ever suggested an organized boycott of the ceremony. It just came about that nearly everyone somehow had already made plans for that Friday, and could not attend the wedding.

Stoick was furious, of course. But he couldn't punish three-quarters of the village. The ceremony went on, poorly attended, and thus lacking the enthusiastic cheers that were supposed to liven up each aspect of the ceremony. The Mead Hall offered free leftover food to the village for days afterward.

The part Hiccup remembered best was when Heather brought him the ceremonial mead to drink. She recited the ancient verse of blessing perfectly, but what he remembered was her smile when she was done repeating the words. He hadn't seen her smile since this entire incident began. He knew she might be faking it, but even a fake smile lit up her face in a wonderful way.

She really looked pretty. She spared no effort to wait on him. He had to keep reminding himself that this wasn't a real marriage.

He also caught himself looking for Astrid several times. She wasn't there, of course. This was going to be hard, to stop thinking about the girl he loved and focus on his wife instead.

At last, the time came when their parents and a few others led them from the Mead Hall to the town's guest house, which would be their home until Hiccup could build a home for them (or until the marriage ended, whichever came first). The witnesses verified that each of them could identify the other, so there could be no accusations of marrying the wrong person. They watched as Hiccup removed Heather's flower crown with shaking hands. They wished the couple well. Then they left. The chief had decreed that there would be no public consummation, without explaining why.

She sat on the bed. He sat on a bench near the fire pit. They sat silently and avoided making eye contact for about a minute.

Finally, she spoke. "This isn't how I dreamed my wedding would go."

"You had storybook dreams of romance and future glories?" he asked.

"Every girl has dreams," she answered. "We imagine what our dress will look like, and our crown, and all our friends gathered around us..."

"And the groom, of course," Hiccup continued. "Strong, tall, manly, handsome, famous, rich..."

"I never saw _him_ in my dreams," she countered. "The wedding was all about me, not him."

"If you could have gotten married without a groom, would you?"

She gazed at him for the first time since they entered the house. "Are you trying to put yourself down? Please don't. I know you're paying a price to go through with this, and I know you're running a risk by getting involved. I appreciate what you're doing for me."

He looked back at her. "I told you I don't want anything bad to happen to you, and I meant it."

"And you're not a liar, unlike me," she said, lowering her eyes.

"I didn't say that! As far as I can tell, you've been completely honest with me ever since this whole thing started." He moved to sit next to her on the bed. "Heather, I made a big deal about you trusting me when we were in the air. Maybe you haven't noticed, but I'm trusting you, too."

She glanced at him quickly, then looked away again. "This conversation definitely isn't going according to my little-girl dreams."

"Okay. If I was the perfect bridegroom, then what should I be saying?"

She giggled quickly. "You'd be reciting love poems."

"Love poems? _That'll_ be a challenge! Let me think...

"There once was a lady named Heather  
"Who felt down and under the weather.  
"Along came a Hiccup  
"With dragon for pick-up  
"And now they are quite stuck together."

She snorted. "I think you should stick to your forge work, Hiccup with dragon for pick-up."

"Oh, sure, throw cold water on the struggling artist," he pretended to sputter. "I suppose your permanent husband can do better?"

Now she really looked away. "I don't want to talk about him. Not tonight."

"Why not?" he asked. "It's not like tonight is special in any way."

She slid an inch away and looked back at him. "It isn't, and yet it is... I don't know how to explain it." She shook her head. "Hiccup, why are you being so _nice_ to me? Can't you remember all the lies I told you, the things I stole, the trouble I caused? Can't you treat me like the disgusting human failure I really am?"

"Whoa! What brought _that_ on?" He rested a hand on her shoulder; she didn't pull away. "You aren't doing any of those things any more, right? What good would it do me to hold a grudge?" He leaned a little closer. "Are you willing to be forgiven?"

"Forgiven?" she repeated. "In my tribe, we don't know what that word _means_."

"That word doesn't come easily to _any_ Viking," he said. "We're great at holding on to past wrongs, even when we've long since forgotten why the wrong happened in the first place. We dragon trainers learned to forgive the dragons; forgiving a person isn't that much harder. But I can't forgive you if you won't let me."

She looked right at him, her eyes moistening. "Do you _have_ to be so darned nice to me?"

He nodded. "You married a Hiccup. It's an occupational hazard."

For a moment more, she stared at him. Then she flung both arms around him and embraced him. He was so startled, he didn't return the embrace for a second, and by then she had let go and pulled away.

"I have to keep reminding myself we aren't really married," she muttered.

"Actually, we are. We just have an agreement not to act like it," he said.

"Hiccup... what are we going to _do_ tonight?" She suddenly sounded hopeless again. "The witnesses are going come in the morning, and if they don't find evidence that we consummated, that will ruin everything!"

"I already thought of that," he nodded. He reached into the roll of clothing he'd brought with him, and pulled out a tin container. "During the reception, I managed to sneak back to the sacrifice altar and make off with some of the pig's blood." He unscrewed the lid of the container, dipped a rag in it, and dabbed the dark-red liquid on one of the sleeping furs. "There! Instant bridal evidence. Your honor is preserved, and your secret is still safe with me."

She stared. Finally, she said, "Hiccup, close your eyes."

He shrugged and closed his eyes. A moment later, he felt two lips quickly pressed against his cheek. A thrill went through his entire body. He waited a few seconds before looking again.

She looked embarrassed. "That's for being so thoughtful for me."

_When Astrid says something like that, it means she just hit me for something, and I'll get a kiss afterward if I'm lucky, _he thought. _Heather just kissed me with no price tag. My brain is officially under siege._

He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. "Can I have a couple of these furs?"

"Okay, but what do you want with them?"

"We've had a long, busy day. It's time we got some sleep, and I'm not going to make _you_ sleep on the floor," he said. He wrapped himself in the furs and got as comfortable as he could on the floor. "Good night, my bride. Tomorrow, we start our married life together." He closed his eyes, leaving her sitting alone on the bed.

After a minute, she got up and blew out the lanterns and candles, one by one, until only the glow from the fire pit lit the room. She gazed down at Hiccup, who was already asleep, then sat down on the bed again.

_This __definitely__ was not the way my dreams went,_ she thought. _Maybe I need some new dreams._


	7. Chapter 7

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 7

When Hiccup woke up the next morning, Heather wasn't there.

That worried him. But he didn't hit the panic button, not just yet. He used the time to change his clothes and freshen up. As he finished, Heather came back to the house with two breakfast plates from the Mead Hall.

"Thank you!" he exclaimed. "I wasn't expecting that."

"You weren't?" she asked, puzzled.

He shook his head. "I've never been waited on in my life."

"I thought it was traditional for the new bride to wait on her husband," she said.

"Maybe it is," he nodded, "but I can still be thankful." They ate breakfast together, mostly in awkward silence.

When they were done, Heather stacked the plates and set them aside. "What do we do now?" she asked.

"I'm on my honeymoon, so working in the forge is optional," he answered. "You don't have a work assignment in Berk, so you're free to do what you like. We're expected to spend as much time together as we can, or as much as we want to. Of course, most newly-married couples will spend their time, uhhh, doing things we've agreed not to do."

"Okay, but what do we _do?_"

"This morning, we wait for the witnesses to check the sleeping furs for proof that we consummated, even though half of them already know we didn't. Then we go back to the Mead Hall for the presentation of the morning-gift. After that... we'll go flying with Toothless, for starters. He's due for his morning work-out. Maybe we'll get some ideas when we're looking down on Berk from above."

"Okay. Could we... could we do that trusting thing again?"

"Of course!" When he initiated 'that trusting thing,' she skipped the seated stage and went straight to the kneeling and standing parts. At one point, Hiccup was sure she'd deliberately leaned to one side, just to feel him hold her steady.

Because Hiccup didn't have to go to work, he could indulge Toothless' love of flight without limit. They stayed up for hours. When they finally landed, lunch time was approaching.

"How about a picnic?" she suddenly asked.

"Sure, we can do that! I'll go down to the docks and get us a couple of fish. You can go into the village and buy some vegetables and bread. Here's some money; I'll meet you back at the house." About twenty minutes later, they climbed onto Toothless with their lunch and flew out to an interesting-looking spot on the cliffs to the north of Berk. They gathered wood for a fire, Toothless lit it for them, and their meals were soon grilling on the rocks that surrounded their campfire.

Again, they mostly ate their meal in silence.

That ended as they were nearly done. Hiccup glanced at Heather, and saw that she looked sweaty and somewhat pale.

"Heather? Are you feeling okay?"

"I don't think so," she answered shakily. "I think I'm going to... oh, no..." She stood, took a few steps away from the fire, fell to her knees, and got violently ill.

He rushed to her side, resting a hand on her shoulder. She pushed his hand away firmly. "Hiccup, _please_ don't touch me."

"I'm sorry. I just... I feel like I ought to be _doing_ something for you."

"I appreciate that, Hiccup, but –" She went through another round of sickness. "It doesn't help."

He nodded and leaned away. She doubled over. When she glanced at Hiccup, he was wringing his hands and looking almost as miserable as she felt.

Her stomach was empty, but the dry heaves went on and on. Finally, she decided she couldn't feel much worse, no matter what happened.

"Hiccup, you can put your hand on my shoulder, if it makes _you_ feel better."

After a second or two, he rested one hand on each shoulder. "There's just something in me that wants to _do_ something for you, even if it isn't much." She heaved again; his hands tightened, just for a moment. When she stopped, he began kneading her shoulders. She almost asked him to stop, but didn't. To her surprise, it felt good. She desperately needed _something_ to feel good.

About five minutes later, she quietly said, "I think I'm feeling better now, Hiccup. Thank you."

"Oh. Good." He let his hands trail away from her shoulders. "It must have been that fish I gave you. Mine was fine."

"Your hands are stronger than I expected."

"That's from working in the forge. All that swinging heavy tools _has_ to build muscles _somewhere_. It's just my luck, my muscles don't show."

"How does that work?" she asked. "Don't you need lots of muscles to be a blacksmith?"

"Big muscles help, but they aren't the whole story," he answered. "Raw force isn't enough. You have to apply it exactly where you want it. Usually a little strength, applied just right, is better than a lot of power in _almost_ the right place."

She nodded as she got to her feet. "I like how you have strength, but you apply it gently." They put out their fire, cleaned up their mess, and flew back home on Toothless.

"Well, _that_ was a great start to our married life," he said as they dismounted.

"It could be worse," she said with a shake of her head. "In my village, one bride came down with the pox on her wedding night." He rolled his eyes in dismay at that thought.

They ate supper together in the Mead Hall that night. No one else would sit with them.

"I guess it's because of me?" she asked him.

"It's hard to say," he answered. "I've had to eat alone here so often, it could be either one of us. I'm enjoying the fact that someone is sitting with me tonight."

"It's not like I have much choice," she replied.

"Of course you do," he said. "You always have choices. I see half a dozen tables surrounded by women, with at least one empty seat each."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, _please!_ The younger women talk about nothing but their pregnancies and their kids, and the older women talk about nothing but their health problems. I have nothing in common with any of them. I'd rather sit by myself than endure that."

"You almost got your wish, except for me," he said. "What about the other teens?"

"The teens in this town do not like me," she said firmly. "Not that I could blame them. You talk about forgiveness, but you might be the only one. I'll stay with you."

"Even though I feed you food that makes you sick?"

"You didn't know! That wasn't your fault, Hiccup. Sometimes these things just happen."

"I know," he nodded. "Because usually, they happen to _me_."

Their sleeping arrangements were the same as for the previous night – him on the floor, her in the bed. They fell asleep fairly quickly.

Four hours later, he woke up in a panic. The Red Death had paid him yet another visit in his dreams. She sat up in the darkness, unsure what to do. She tried to reassure him that it was just a dream. He just clung to her, or tried to.

The moment he grabbed her, she felt a flashback to that horrible day with the pirates... Fight-or-flight took over. She screamed and pushed him away with all her strength.

He was only half-awake, not very strong, and caught off guard. Her push sent him stumbling away; his feet got tangled in his sleeping furs and he went down hard, hitting his head on the floor with only a fur to cushion the blow.

"Hiccup? Are you all right? _Hiccup!_" Frantically, she found a splint, lit it in the glowing fire pit, and used it to light a lantern. She saw him lying on the floor, holding the back of his head, wincing in pain.

He could sob out only one word. "Why...?"

"Hiccup, you... you grabbed me... you scared me... I didn't mean to..." Her own heart was still racing; she didn't feel like she was making any sense.

He shook his head, wished he hadn't, and lay down with his back to her. "Sorry," he whispered. He sounded more sad than hurt.

She sat on the bed, her shaking hand holding the lantern, watching him. _Nice job, Heather,_ she thought. _He's doing everything to bring you up to his level of trust and kindness, and all you can do is bring him down to your level of misery. Brilliant, just brilliant._


	8. Chapter 8

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 8

_A/N This note is to all the people who are reviewing this story from guest accounts._

_If you have something good to say, I'd love to thank you and answer your questions, but I can't, because I can't send messages to a guest account._

_If you have something bad to say... don't bother. I have no way of knowing if you really have an issue with my story, or if you're just flaming me anonymously. I delete all negative reviews from guest accounts._

**o**

She brought him breakfast again the next morning. "I'm sorry about last night. How's your head?" she asked nervously.

"It hurts. I've been through worse," he said. "I guess I'm not supposed to grab you in the middle of the night?"

"I guess not," she said as she sat down on the bed. "I really feel bad about it. I never thought to warn you because I never thought it might happen. What were you dreaming about?"

He explained about the Red Death, and the nightmares that plagued him like a curse from beyond the monster dragon's grave.

Her eyes went very wide. "It's hard to imagine something that big."

"Would you like to see it?" he suddenly asked. "I'm sure the bones are still there." She nodded. It would give them something to do.

After Toothless had had a chance to stretch his wings, and after Heather had had her chance to stand up in mid-air and revel in the freedom that his steadying hands gave her, they flew north. It took a while; they flew in silence. Hiccup hadn't been back there since that awful battle. He didn't know how he would feel when he got there and saw that broken landscape for the second time. The first time, it had nearly been the death of him, and he had left part of his leg behind as the price he'd paid for his great victory.

Toothless brought them to the island, circled it quickly, and landed on the old battlefield. Hiccup had never seen much of it from the ground; it was the first battle in Viking history in which the winner fought from the air. Scavengers had picked the giant dragon's bones clean, but those bones...

"I didn't imagine it big enough," Heather said from behind him. They dismounted and looked at the enormous skeleton. The only sounds were the cold wind and the waves washing up on the rocky shore. Heather couldn't recall being in a more desolate place.

After a long silence, she asked him, "How does this make you feel?"

"Small," he said. "I'm amazed that we won. I'm in awe of Toothless; he did all the work." He patted the dragon's neck. Toothless warbled happily.

"Does it make you... afraid?"

"No," he said decisively. "It's very dead. It has no power over me, as long as my mind is in control of me. It's when my brain checks out for the night... that's when the dark dreams come." He laid a hand on her shoulder, then quickly took it away. "We're kind of alike that way, aren't we?"

She didn't answer. She stepped toward it until she could reach out and touch one of the burnt rib bones. "I can't imagine the courage it took to fight this thing," she said softly.

"I had help," he said, stroking Toothless' neck again. "And I... I just did what I had to do."

"Lots of Vikings throughout history have done what they had to do," she said, turning to face him. "Only one killed a Red Death dragon."

"And you're stuck with him for the next three and a half weeks," he said. "Lucky you."

"I know I could do a lot worse," she said firmly.

He looked surprised at that. "Worse than a guy who poisons you in the morning and scares you to death at night?"

"The fish thing could have happened to anybody – it was a total accident," she replied. "The thing at night... it was just one of those things that people have to learn about each other. At least you're _willing_ to learn. I'm afraid there's a man in my future who won't be so willing."

"Will you be able to get by?" he asked, concerned.

"Viking girls have always been married off to men of their parents' choosing," she said. "We always find a way to get by. That doesn't mean it's fun or pleasant, but there's always a way. Just like there's a way for a man to endure a month-long marriage to a lying manipulator he barely even knows."

"Uhh... I think I started this little self-insulting festival, so I'm stopping it," he decided. "I don't like it when you call yourself names. I'm guessing you don't like it when I do it, either. No more name-calling for the rest of our marriage, okay?"

She put out her hand. "Deal." He took her hand and clasped it. It was warm. He held it a little bit longer than he needed to, before he let go. He had the strange feeling that, if he'd held her hand even longer, she wouldn't have resisted. _We just won't go there,_ he thought.

"Shall we go home? I don't think there's much else to see here."

"What are we going to do after lunch?" she wondered.

"Hmmm. How about if we just go for a walk in the woods together? I can't imagine how either of us could cause a disaster that way."

"A walk in the woods, it is," she agreed. They flew home. At lunch, they ate by themselves again. At least they were learning to talk to each other, so their meal wasn't just a long, awkward silence.

The woods were quiet except for an occasional bird call and the distant rumble of the surf. They walked side by side under the trees, their footsteps muffled by the thick layer of fallen pine needles.

"We don't have a forest like this on my home island," she said. "All the trees were cut down a long time ago. We needed the wood."

"Berk is big enough, and our needs are small enough, that we never had that problem," Hiccup responded. "Now that our houses aren't being burned down by dragons once or twice a month, we'll probably _never_ have to cut all the trees down."

"Those are pretty wildflowers," she said suddenly. "What are they?"

"They are... umm... they're white," Hiccup replied.

"Oh. I figured, since you've lived here all your life, you'd know what grows here."

"If I were one of the herbalists, or a cook who needed things to season the food with, then maybe I'd know more about flowers and stuff like that," he said. "I'm no herbalist, and I am not a cook. I've spent most of my life banging on metal objects. Flowers wouldn't last long in a forge. I've probably drawn them once or twice, but I don't even know what they're called."

"You draw?"

"I doodle," he said defensively. "I'm not very good."

"I could never draw anything at all," she said. "I tried to draw a yak once, and my mother thought it was a longship. Could you draw those flowers for me? I'd love to see how you do it."

He shrugged. "If that's what you want." He pulled a notebook and drawing stick out of the inner pockets of his vest, sat down on a rock, and went to work.

She watched silently as he turned the blank page into a field of wildflowers. One simple stroke of the stick became a flower stem; a few more curves, and the flower was complete. Then he added another one beside it, and another. A few odd-shaped lines and curves became a tree in the background. It took him about fifteen minutes, and his drawing was finished.

"What do you think?" he asked, holding up the notebook for her.

She took it. "This isn't a doodle. This is amazing! You're really good!"

He shrugged again. "If you like it that much, you can keep it."

"Thank you! I _do_ like it, and I _will_ keep it." She carefully tore the page out of the notebook and gave the book back to him.

"They're just wildflowers. Why do you like it so much?" he wondered as he stood.

"Because you did it for me," she answered.

When she brought him his breakfast on the third morning, he thanked her again, then asked, "Do you really like waiting on me that much?"

"I don't mind waiting on you," she said, "but I really like it when you say 'thank you'."

That made him feel warm. _Slow down,_ his mind warned him. _Aren't you still in love with somebody else?_

_Yes,_ he answered himself. _Heather is just being nice, that's all._

By the fifth day, when they left the Mead Hall after their supper, they were walking hand in hand.


	9. Chapter 9

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 9

"Astrid, please, pull yourself together!" Ruffnut begged.

"I can't!" she sobbed. "I can't! Hiccup is _married!_ He married Heather!"

"Astrid, you can't keep falling to pieces every time you see them together! That's a lot of pieces for me to pick up!"

"No, it's just so _wrong!_" Astrid cried. "It's _all_ wrong!" She buried her face in her hands and cried some more.

"Well, if you can't pull yourself together for real, then fake it! Here comes Snotlout!"

Astrid worked to get it together. It didn't take much work; the whole thing was an act. She knew Hiccup's marriage was a short-lived sham, but she couldn't let on that she knew it – he'd made it very clear that the truth had to stay a secret. So she had to act the part of spurned lover, because that's what the town expected. All these girly emotions were not her strong suit, but she seemed to be doing a decent acting job - her best friend was apparently fooled. By the time Lout was close enough to talk to, she looked like someone who had been crying recently, but not in the past few minutes.

"Hey, Ruff, Astrid! What's happening?"

"We were trying to have some girl-talk time," Ruff growled.

"Oooh! Girly-talk! I won't interrupt _that!_" Lout smirked. "But before I go, I have to ask you something, Astrid. Now that Hiccup is out of circulation, maybe you and I should get together? I can help you get over this, you know."

"That's very sweet of you, Snotlout," she said demurely. "Maybe, when Muspelheim freezes over, I'll think about it."

"Really?" His eyes lit up. "You know, I heard Muspelheim is having a cold wave these days. I wouldn't be surprised if –"

"Snotlout, get _lost!_" Ruff ordered. "Don't make me stuff those horns up your nose!"

"Fine, whatever." He waved them off as he left. "But I'll be back!"

Ruff sat down next to Astrid. "What were the gods _thinking_ when they made boys such _jerks?_"

"It's like we're two different kinds of creature," Astrid nodded. "Sometimes I think Stormfly understands me better than boys do."

"Of course she does! She's a girl," Ruff exclaimed. "I ride a boy dragon, and he can be as thick as my brother sometimes."

"Ruff, you're exaggerating," Astrid said. "_No_ dragon, boy or girl, could _ever_ be as thick as your brother!" They had a quick laugh at that.

"Hey, do you want to go flying?" Astrid suddenly asked.

"Can't," Ruff answered. "I don't know where my brother is. It takes two to fly that dragon."

"No, you come for a ride on Stormfly with me. We'll have some girl time in the air, just the three of us, and no Snotlout."

"I'm all over that!" Ruff chuckled. Stormfly needed no encouraging, and they were soon punching holes in the clouds. For a few minutes, Astrid had no worries. It was mid-afternoon, and she knew Hiccup always flew Toothless in the morning, so there was no danger of bumping into... _them_.

Far below them, they noticed something moving slowly across the landscape. Nothing else in the sky could be mistaken for a Gronckle. "That must be Fishlegs on Meatlug," Astrid noted.

"Do you think he's... okay?" Ruff wondered.

"He's different, but no worse than any other boy we know. He's better than some, that's for sure. I think he's pretty harmless. Why?"

"He _kisses_ his _dragon_." Ruff was plainly disgusted.

"I'm sure they're just good friends," Astrid replied.

"You wouldn't say that if you saw Heather kissing Hiccup, would you?" Ruff asked.

"Well, _that's_ never happened, right?" She got no answer. "Right, Ruff?" Astrid felt her heart speeding up. "Ruff? _Tell_ me you haven't seen her kissing him! _PLEASE!_"

"I... I didn't want to say anything... I knew it would just make things worse... but yesterday morning when the two of them came back from riding Toothless, he helped her get off the dragon, and they were both laughing a little, and... she kissed him. Kind of quick. On the cheek, I think."

"She didn't even hit him first?" Astrid felt like she was whimpering.

"Not even a little," Ruff said. "She was all girly-girl on him. I could tell it really surprised him. His brain is probably under siege again, whatever that means. That's not good, right?"

The only answer she got was the sound of Astrid weeping. These weren't the loud, mournful tears she'd been crying ever since the wedding. These were quiet tears. It sounded like they hurt a lot more than the noisy kind. "No," she whispered. "Please, _no_..."

"Did I say the wrong thing?" Ruff asked.

"No," Astrid sobbed. "You're a good friend. You tell me the truth. I need that, even though..." She broke off.

"Even though you don't want to hear it?"

Astrid nodded. She couldn't talk. Everything was suddenly going _totally, completely wrong,_ and it wasn't an act this time.

"We're landing," she finally sniffled. "We're going out in the woods. I am going to _slaughter_ some defenseless trees. I may need your help pulling my axe out of the trunks."

"That's what friends are for," Ruff agreed. "Do you want me to draw pictures of Hiccup on those trees for you?"

"No," Astrid said grimly. "But you can draw Heather if you want to."


	10. Chapter 10

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 10

_A/N To the various reviewers, mostly guests, who have been begging me to make this a Heathercup (or Hiccther) story: this story will be what it was meant to be. Watch for the start of a new story, titled "Heather Together," that should make you quite happy._

**o**

"Now that we're married, can I ask you a question, Heather?"

"You can always ask. I might not answer, though."

"This is the second time you and your family have gotten in trouble in these waters – once with the Outcasts, once with pirates. But you don't live anywhere near here. What keeps bringing you back here, taking risks and getting in trouble?"

Heather looked thoughtful for a few seconds. "Can I swear you to secrecy?"

"I already _am_ sworn, remember?"

"This is different. This is a family secret."

"Okay," Hiccup smiled. "Technically, I _am_ part of the family, for a few more weeks anyway. But I promise, I'll tell no tales."

She looked around. "Can we go out in the woods and talk about this? I _really_ don't want anyone to overhear this."

"As you wish." They found a downed tree near a clearing, and they both sat down. Hiccup thought he noticed some fresh throwing-axe marks in the nearby trees.

"Here's the story," she said. "Many years ago, one of my great-uncles had some money problems, and he had a try at piracy. He made one cruise, came back rich, and swore he'd never do it again. Unfortunately, he spent everything he had, and was killed in a drunken brawl less than a year later. We know he buried half the wealth he found; the question is where."

"So your parents are searching for this pirate treasure?" Hiccup nodded. "I can see how that would bring them to these waters. How is their search going?"

"Not well," she said. "We got a map from my great-aunt that shows where the treasure is on an island, but we don't know which island it is. We're looking for a place called the Crow's Nose. If we could find that place, we'd know where to start the search."

"It's a shame you lost the map when those pirates sank your ship," he noted. "I know you came here with nothing but the clothes on your backs."

"And this horn container hanging from my belt," she smiled, and patted it.

"You've got the map?" She nodded. "Your parents don't know you have it?" She nodded again. "What are you planning?"

"Father never told me what he means to do with the money," she answered. "I suspect he wants to use it as dowry. That would be a waste; Bergsveinn is already well off, and he isn't expecting a fancy dowry from me." She leaned closer to him. "If we found it together, while we're still married, it would belong to both of us."

Hiccup was surprised. "Is this the girl who would do anything for her parents' benefit?"

"Anything except throw away a fortune for someone who doesn't need it and won't appreciate it," she answered, a bit sharply. "After I marry Bergsveinn, I'll be all set financially, but I'll still have nothing in my own name. If I have to divorce him some day, I don't want to be homeless in the streets, especially if I have children by then."

"If it were anyone but you and Bergsveinn, I'd be upset that you expected your marriage to fail," Hiccup said. "But why not give the treasure to your parents so they aren't so poor any more?"

"They promised me that if I found it first, it would be mine," she replied. "Rest assured, I'll give them something if that happens. But right now, I have nothing, nothing at all. This is my only chance to change that – my _only_ chance! Hiccup, you're the son of a chief. You don't know what it's _like_ to have nothing. Please, work with me on this. Please, Hiccup?" She looked up at him, wide-eyed.

Hiccup shook his head distractedly. _Brain-siege! Brain-siege!_ Her eyes were beautiful when she looked at him that way. _I'm losing this one; I can feel it._ He gave up. "What do you want me to do?"

"Just help me find the treasure. Toothless can cover more ground in an hour than a ship can cover in a day. Once we find the Crow's Nose, it should be easy – the map looks pretty clear."

"How will we know when we find this Crow's Nose?" he asked.

Her shoulders slumped. "That part, I don't know. My parents have been looking for it for two years."

"And you think I can help you find it in two and a half weeks?" Hiccup was a bit incredulous. "I appreciate that you have so much faith in me, but that's still a tall order." He looked thoughtful. "Or maybe not! Your parents are unfamiliar with these waters, but I'll bet I can find someone who knows them well. Come on!" He took her by the hand and led her back into town.

"Ahh, Hiccup, ye young scallywag! Plannin' on comin' back to work for a change, are ye?"

"Gobber, we're still on our honeymoon, remember?" Hiccup wrapped one arm around Heather's shoulders; she smiled.

"Honeymoon or no, the work is pilin' up," the smith fussed. "If ye wait the whole four weeks, there's gonna be so much bent an' broken gear in here, ye won't be able to get in!"

"I'll think about that. Gobber, you've been around. Have you ever heard of a place called the Crow's Nose?"

Gobber scratched his bald head. "The Crow's Nose? There's a name I've not heard in a while. Why do ye ask?"

"Oh, uhh, I was just reading in the Book of Dragons, about Venomous Vorpents, and it says the last time anybody saw one, it was at the Crow's Nose. I was just curious."

"Ah, well. The Crow's Nose is an old name for the point on Desolation Island that points straight toward Raven Point on Berk. No one lives there, but it's a landmark for sailors. The old salts call it that, an' the young ones who want to sound old. Are ye plannin' to visit the place?"

"No! I mean probably not. I mean, I don't know."

"Ahh, good. Well, if ye change yer mind and go there, perhaps ye could bring me back an ROUS? If ye did that, then maybe I wouldn't ask ye why ye have no time for the forge on yer honeymoon, but ye _do_ have time to be readin' the Book of Dragons."

"Umm." Hiccup blushed slightly. "If we do go there, we'll get you one of those. Sure. Thanks, Gobber." He led Heather out of the forge.

"_What_ did he want?" she asked.

"I guess the Crow's Nose is where ROUS'es grow," Hiccup answered. "Radishes Of Unusual Size. We can easily find one bigger than your head." He squeezed her shoulder. "What do you think? Shall we pack for a little expedition to Desolation Island?"

"I'm sure Toothless will love it," she smiled.

"If we're lucky, he won't be the only one."

They brought food, digging tools, and heavy leather bags to carry whatever they might find. Toothless was less than enthusiastic about carrying cargo, but he relented when Hiccup explained that this trip meant spending several hours in the air. Desolation Island was not a short trip away.

It took them about two hours to find the place. They might have gotten there sooner, but Hiccup let Toothless do all the zigzags and other maneuvers he wanted to make, which lengthened the journey considerably. Sure enough, from the air, the point of land nearest Berk did resemble a crow's beak. They landed there, and Hiccup unpacked while Heather pulled out her map.

"This dashed line shows us which way to go," she noted. "I'm guessing each double-dash means a double step. So we need to take thirty-four double steps toward that hill." They paced off the distance, then followed each of the other steps drawn on the map. Toothless ambled behind them, curious about what they were doing.

They wound up in a small clearing, surrounded by mossy boulders. "The map says this is the place, but where do we dig?" Heather asked. "Should we look for a mound of dirt that shows where the treasure is hidden?"

"After all these years, the dirt will have settled," Hiccup decided. "In fact, we'd be better off looking for a depressed spot." They saw several such spots, and dug each one in turn. The first two were natural depressions with nothing hidden beneath them. The third hid a small wooden cask, about eight inches in diameter. Heather picked it up and shook it.

"It's empty," she said bleakly.

"Let's open it anyway," Hiccup said. "Treasure doesn't always sound like coins clinking." He pried one end off with his knife.

It was, indeed, empty. The cask was lined with brown paper; there was no evidence that anything had ever been inside it.

"Did someone get here first, steal the treasure, and leave this behind to taunt us?" Heather's mood was failing.

Hiccup took the cask from her. He rapped the end to see if it had a false bottom; he sniffed the inside to see if there was any clue there. Then he scraped the paper lining off with his knife and turned it over. "Ahhh! Look at this!"

In the same handwriting that had drawn the map, they found:

_If following maps has you vexed,  
Fear not! There are no more maps next.  
Perhaps you can spy  
With your eagle eye,  
Then dig in the place that is X'ed._

She gazed happily at Hiccup, her spirits restored instantly. "You're so clever! I never would have thought of that! Thank you!" She kissed him on the cheek, which made him warm all over. "What do you think it means?"

"To be honest, I think we should figure it out in the morning," he answered. "It's getting dark. Even if we find the treasure in the next half-hour, we'll have to spend the night here anyway. Let's eat a quick supper and get some sleep, and we'll solve the riddle tomorrow."

"How are we going to sleep?" she asked when supper was done. "We didn't bring a tent, or sleeping rolls, or anything! It's getting cold, too."

"That's okay; we brought a dragon." Hiccup waved Toothless over to them. "Hey, bud, can you keep the two of us warm tonight?" Toothless rolled onto his side and spread out his wings. Hiccup lay down against his friend, using one foreleg as a pillow, and got comfortable. Then he held out his arms and nodded at Heather.

"Uhh, I thought we had an agreement about not acting like we were married," she said doubtfully.

"Keeping each other warm on a cold night isn't breaking the agreement," he said. "I can't sleep on the floor, not out here. Besides, snuggling up with Toothless is totally relaxing if you want a good night's sleep, but he's not very comfortable for doing anything else."

Cautiously, she lay down in front of Hiccup and cuddled up against him. He wrapped one arm around her. "Okay, bud, we're all set here." Two great black wings enfolded them. Inside, it was very dark. She felt her husband's warmth behind her, and the dragon's warmth all around her. He was right – this was very comfortable, surprisingly so. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She felt a sense of complete peace and safety, which was something she wasn't used to. She couldn't help relaxing.

"Are you okay with this?" he whispered.

"I never thought I could get this close to a man again without getting scared or getting sick," she answered.

"Unlike the first day of our marriage, when I did _both_ to you," he said.

"No more insulting ourselves, remember?" she replied. "You want to forgive me; how about forgiving yourself?"

He paused to think about that. "Okay. Well, it's satisfying to know I don't make my wife sick," he said.

"Hiccup, there isn't another man in the _world_ I could say that about," she replied. "They scare me. You make me feel safe."

Suddenly, they heard and felt Toothless growl. She tensed up.

"Is something wrong?" she asked worriedly.

Hiccup chuckled. "No, he's probably just telling us kids to knock it off and go to sleep." He yawned. "That's not a bad idea." He snuggled his arm into a comfortable spot around her waist and began to relax. He was asleep in ten minutes.

It took her a little longer than that, but not much. Her last conscious thoughts were the words to a song she'd heard, a long time ago:

"I wish for this nighttime to last for a lifetime.  
"The darkness around me, shores of a solar sea.  
"Oh, how I wish to go down with the sun,  
"Sleeping, weeping, with you."

**o**

A/N  
_The song lyrics are from "Sleeping Sun" by Nightwish._


	11. Chapter 11

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 11

She woke up slowly. Hiccup's arm was still wrapped around her, and Toothless's wings were still keeping them warm. She could feel both of them breathing next to her. It felt very tranquil, being wrapped up in a dragon with her husband.

She suddenly realized that, for the first time since that awful day, she had spent the whole night in peaceful sleep, with no nightmares.

Was that because of the dragon? Or Hiccup? Or both? She closed her eyes and waited for them to awaken. She hoped they'd take their time.

They ate their breakfast together, light-heartedly discussing whether dragons could ever replace beds and mattresses. Hiccup stood and stretched. "I know you want to find your treasure, but I really do have to fly with Toothless first. He wants his morning ride, and he needs to go fishing for his breakfast. Want to come with us?"

"That's okay, Hiccup. I want to... think about some things." Hiccup and Toothless soared into the sky. She watched them rise to the clouds.

Had she been born under some kind of evil star? She thought of all the things she'd tried to do with her life, and how all of them had failed. She thought of the trouble she'd brought on others without meaning to do so. She thought about her future husband, a man most Viking girls would die for, a man she loathed and didn't respect, but would have to spend the rest of her days with.

Fate had already given her a _really_ wonderful husband – dropped her right into his arms! – but even if she could somehow win his heart, she couldn't keep him.

Could she?

No.

She heard Toothless whip past, Hiccup yelling with delight, before they zoomed upwards again. She hoped they were high enough that they couldn't see her weeping.

When they landed half an hour later, she had composed herself and was studying the written clue they'd found.

_If following maps has you vexed,  
Fear not! There are no more maps next.  
Perhaps you can spy  
With your eagle eye,  
Then dig in the place that is X'ed._

"What's the eagle eye?" she asked. "Does that mean an eye for detail?"

"I think it means an aerial view," he said. "Look up in that tall tree; there's an old sea-eagle nest. When your great-uncle made the map, he must have climbed the tree so he could see the lay of the land."

"That nest has seen better days, and so has the tree," she noticed. "It looks rotten from top to bottom. I don't think you should try climbing it."

"There's no need to climb it," he smiled. "Who needs an eagle-eye view when you can have a dragon's-eye view? I took the liberty of looking down on this place while we were up there, and I found the place that is X'ed. See that downed tree over there?"

"The big one? Yes."

"There are three more just like it. They were cut down so they fell towards each other in the shape of a big X. There's a space in the middle where their branches don't quite meet. That's where we dig."

They found the spot easily and began digging. About a foot down, they hit a fair-sized rock. "That's not treasure," she said sadly.

"This has to be the place," Hiccup answered. "We'll move the rock and see what's under it." He widened the hole so he could stand next to the rock, and heaved on it with all his might.

He looked up, embarrassed. "I'm not strong enough to move it," he confessed.

They widened the hole on the other side, and Heather helped him shove it and roll it out of the hole. They saw that it had been resting on a large tree limb. "Limbs don't bury themselves, so that's proof we're in the right place," he said. Rather than dig up the limb, they simply cut a section out of it.

Just below it was one iron-bound wooden chest, about a foot and a half long.

They smiled at each other, not sure who should move first. "It's _your_ family treasure," Hiccup said. "You claim it." She knelt, almost reverently, and wrestled the chest out of the dirt. She brushed the clods away from it and examined it. It was heavy. It sounded like there was a lot of loose metal inside.

"I don't have any tools to open the lock," he said. "We'll have to take it back to the forge. We'll have to do it at night, so Gobber doesn't see us."

She nodded. "Speaking of Gobber, don't we owe him a Radish Of Unusual Size?"

"You're right! I think I saw some, growing over there. Let's do the digging together this time."

"As you wish," she nodded.

Digging up the ROUS was almost as hard as moving the rock. They decided to get another one for the Mead Hall cooks while they were at it. Both of them were quite grimy and sweaty by the time they were done.

"We're quite the honeymooning couple," Hiccup grinned. "Let's fly home and clean up. We'll see what you found once the sun goes down."

"Can we stay for another minute or two?" she asked. "I want to savor this moment. I can't believe we found the treasure! We really _found_ it!"

"No hurry," he nodded. "No hurry at all." She sat on the ground with the box in her lap, gazing at it in amazement. She grinned. Then she smiled. Then she laughed out loud.

Hiccup couldn't help smiling. "I like it when you laugh. You don't do it enough."

"I never had much to laugh about before," she said.

"A box of treasure is all you needed?"

She set the box down and stood facing him. "It took a _lot_ of things to make me this happy." She flung her arms around him. This time, she held on long enough for him to overcome his shock so he could hug her back. They held their embrace for nearly a minute. Whatever she used for cleaning her hair, it had a spicy fragrance, and it had him entranced. Finally, she untangled herself from him and stepped back.

"We do have to behave; we have a deal," she said. "Let's pack up and get home." He nodded mutely. They gathered their tools and the treasures they'd found, mounted up on Toothless, and flew back to Berk.

Late that night, they met at the forge. They had a hard time finding their way to Hiccup's back room; the building was overflowing with farm and garden tools that needed sharpening, straightening, or outright replacement.

"Gobber wasn't kidding about the work piling up," Hiccup observed. He lit a candle while Heather moved his drawings to make room for the chest on his work desk.

"I had no idea you were such an artist," she said admiringly.

"Eh, they're just doodles," he said.

"They're very good doodles," she replied. "I see the dragons, your friends, your village, your father, some of your inventions... the only thing I don't see is you."

"Who would want to look at a picture of _me?_" he asked. "I know _I_ wouldn't. Ahh, here's what I need." He picked up a long, thin tool and slipped it into the keyhole in the chest.

"Do smiths have to pick locks often?" she wondered.

"Smiths have to do just about everything at one time or another," he replied. "Gobber once taught me, 'If a smith can't do it, it doesn't need doing.' It's not like being a baker, where all you do is bake things. It keeps life interesting." He wiggled the tool until he heard a click, and stepped back. "There you go. Take a look at your treasure."

She lifted the lid, and gasped. She'd half-expected one more disappointment, but not this time.

The chest was full of coins of all sizes – copper, silver, and some gold. There were rings, earrings, stickpins, bracelets, and necklaces of various metals, some with gems set in them. There were loose jewels of many kinds. She was looking at a small fortune.

By far the most impressive piece was an ornately formed silver circlet, with one large blue sapphire set in the middle. Any girl who wore it would look like a princess. Heather held it up and sighed.

"May I?" Hiccup asked. He took the circlet and hefted it. "I don't think this is silver; the weight is wrong, and it's not tarnished. I think this is white gold. The workmanship is amazing." On a whim, he reached out and set it on Heather's head. She smiled.

It was his turn to gasp.

He knew he was staring, he knew his mouth was hanging open, and he didn't care. He'd thought she looked lovely with her flower crown on her wedding day, but that was _nothing_ compared to this!

She had seen people stare at her in dismay, in anger, in surprise, and even in lust, but his stare of amazement and awe was something new to her. She decided she liked it, a _lot_. She stepped up to him, wrapped her arms around him, and...

Kissing Heather – _really_ kissing her – was not like anything he'd ever known. When Astrid kissed him, she made it feel like she was taking something from him. Heather just gave, without taking. He totally surrendered to the feeling. When she finally let him go, he stumbled back against the wall, and leaned against it to keep from losing his balance.

"Wow," he finally whispered.

She blushed and looked away. "Maybe I shouldn't have done that."

"I'm not complaining," he said softly. "But our agreement to behave ourselves is going out the window if you do it again."

She hesitantly took off the circlet. "Do you have a clean cloth I can wrap this in? I'd like to take special care of it." He found an old curtain in a corner and gave it to her. She replaced the circlet in the chest and locked it again.

"We probably have a key around here somewhere that will work in that lock," he said, grateful for something to think about that might get his mind off what he'd just done. "I'll come here in the morning, give Gobber his radish, do some work to make him happy, and use some spare moments to find the key." She nodded, he blew out the candle, and they returned to their house.

They did not know they'd been watched.

Tuffnut had dropped off his spear that morning to be sharpened again. Gobber hadn't gotten to it, and Tuff wanted it in the morning, sharp or not, so he'd paid off his sister to go get it from the forge that night. Ruff had been caught inside the darkened forge when Hiccup and Heather arrived, so she stayed very still and quiet while they checked out the treasure in his side room. She saw and heard _everything_. After they left, she found the spear, sneaked out, and ran home.

There was _no way_ she would _ever_ tell Astrid what she'd seen tonight. It would _kill_ her.


	12. Chapter 12

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 12

Two weeks had elapsed since the poorly-attended wedding. Some of the women in town had begun to warm up to Heather, but some still refused to give her the time of day. She did nothing to offend anyone; she went out of her way to be pleasant. But her very presence had upset their small-town order of things, and that was not a small transgression in their eyes.

Hiccup tried to spend time with his friends now and then. It never went well. Astrid would leave as soon as she saw him coming, which made the others resent him for breaking up the group. They never knew what to say to him, either; he had left their world, and crossed the line into the mysterious adult realm of marriage. The fact that they profoundly mistrusted his wife didn't help, even though she seldom joined them. Eventually, he gave up trying.

Her parents borrowed a small sailing ship and returned to their home island. It would take a week to get there and a week to return. When they came back, they would return Berk's ship, and one of their own town's ships would bring Bergsveinn and his parents. They would collect Heather, and they would all go back to Fetje together. That was the arrangement.

Hiccup was having mixed emotions about that.

With no one to spend time with except each other, they spent almost all of their time together, and their agreement about marital behavior was slowly crumbling. They hadn't shared another passionate kiss like the one in the forge, but quick pecks on the lips were becoming common between them. She always smiled when she saw the effect that her kisses had on him.

The day after her parents left, they rode Toothless out to the cliffs for another picnic, this time with the fish already broiled by the Mead Hall's cooks. After they ate, they walked along the rocks, talking about this and that. They came to a narrow crack in the rocks that they easily jumped over, but the edge crumbled under Hiccup's false leg and he fell back into the crevasse. He slid twenty feet down before he could stop himself.

"Hiccup!" she screamed.

"I'm okay," he called up to her, "but I can't get out." He was too far down for her to reach.

"Ride Toothless back to the village!" he told her. "Get help!"

"Me? Ride him without _you?_"

"He's used to you now. He'll let you. You've seen how I work the foot pedals. Please hurry – I'm mostly above the tide line, but the waves are going to soak me through if I can't get out of here soon."

She explained the problem to Toothless. She couldn't read his expression. But when she slid into the saddle, he didn't fight her, and when she told him to take her home, he did, quickly but smoothly. In less than fifteen minutes, a rescue party on dragons had found Hiccup, dropped him a rope, and pulled him to safety. He was scratched and scraped in many places, but he was otherwise unhurt.

The village couldn't stop talking about the incident, especially the part about how Hiccup's beloved dragon had flown with Heather as his rider. Some had seen her arrive on Toothless and assumed that she'd killed Hiccup. Others fanned the rumor that she was a witch – they could think of no other way that the notoriously possessive Night Fury would let anyone else ride him. Still others thought Heather had also been hurt, because she'd made a beeline for Gothi's house as soon as they'd gotten home. The reality was that she'd asked for some healing ointment for Hiccup, which she insisted on applying to all his wounds. He thought she was making a fuss over nothing, but he didn't resist her ministering fingers.

After all those years of being ignored, it felt nice to receive all that attention from someone.

Two nights later, he woke up screaming again. Heather sat upright, found him in the darkness, and took his hands in hers.

"It's all right! It's just a dream!" she tried to reassure him.

"Dont' let it... don't let it..." He was half-awake, half-asleep, and totally terrified.

She couldn't help him relax! At last, she lay down on the bed and led him to curl up next to her. He flung one arm around her and clung to her desperately, shaking as though he were dying of cold. Slowly, he settled down. The shaking stopped. His death-grip on her relaxed somewhat. He faded back into sleep. She remembered the first time he had tried to cling to her in the night – so much had changed! She stayed awake for a while before she fell asleep as well.

When he woke up in the morning, he couldn't remember how he'd wound up in bed with his wife. She had to reassure him that he hadn't broken their arrangement in his sleep.

He spent a few hours in his room at Stoick's house that day. When he returned, he gave her a rolled-up piece of paper. She unrolled it, and exclaimed with delight. "Hiccup, this is _beautiful!_ I _love_ it!" He'd drawn a picture of the two of them as they had looked on their wedding day, with her smiling as she served him the mead. She fastened it to the wall near the door, so she could see it from anywhere in the house. As far as she knew, she was the only girl in the village who had a picture of her wedding.

That night, it was her turn to wake up with nightmares. Without thinking, she left the bed and curled up with Hiccup on the floor. He never woke up, but his arm wrapped itself around her as he slept. She had no more bad dreams that night.

The night after that, as she retired for the night, Hiccup climbed into bed with her. "Are you planning another nightmare in advance?" she asked, with a trace of amusement.

"We keep winding up in each other's arms," he shrugged. "I figured we should skip the frantic scrambling in the dark, and just admit that we do better when we're close to each other."

"Our agreement is hanging in tatters," she said. "Do we want to risk breaking it completely?"

"Whether we start the night in the same bed or not, we keep ending up together, so the risk is the same either way," he replied. "All this means is that, if one of us has a bad night, the comfort we need is right there when we need it. If we make a no-kissing-in-bed rule, we ought to be okay."

She didn't want to shame her family or dishonor Hiccup by breaking the agreement they'd made.

She _really_ didn't want to push him away.

For the next week and a half, they shared their bed. Their agreement held, somehow. He woke up with nightmares twice, she three times; each time, they just held each other until the fear passed and they could sleep again. On the other nights, she woke up more rested and relaxed than at any other time in her life.

All this time, Astrid was almost never seen in public. She was close to a total breakdown. She left her room only to do her chores and take her meals, which she ate in silence. Ruff had to feed Stormfly and take her for exercise rides; the blue dragon didn't understand where her beloved rider had gone, and was beginning to show signs of stress herself.

Snotlout made multiple attempts to get her attention. She passively ignored him. The fact that she didn't hit him seemed like good news to him, which made him try even harder to win her, and made him even more frustrated when he kept getting no reaction out of her.

At last, Ruffnut had had enough. Who was this impostor in her friend's clothes? She wanted Astrid back! She went to her house one afternoon, greeted the rest of the Hoffersons, and trooped upstairs to Astrid's room. She found her best friend lying on the bed, red-eyed and disheveled.

"I can't believe what I'm seeing!" Ruff burst out. She got no response.

"This is the girl who almost won everything in dragon training! This is the girl who rides a Deadly Nadder! This is the girl who's the meanest axe-thrower in the entire village! And you're totally falling apart over a stupid _boy!_" No response.

"Fine. Be that way." Ruff sat down heavily on the bed. "Just tell me one thing. When those two say they have an 'agreement to behave ourselves,' what's that about?"

Astrid's head whipped up. "How did you know about that?"

"I overheard them one night. They were doing something in the forge; I was there looking for my brother's spear. Look, I might not be the smartest knife in the drawer, but I can tell by your reaction, I'm on to something important. Talk to me, Astrid. If he's married and out of reach forever, then why are you getting worse instead of better?"

"Ruff, I swore I would never tell _anyone_ about this! Someone could _die_ if this gets back to the wrong people."

"Astrid, I'm afraid _you're_ going to die if you don't deal with this! I've never seen you fall apart like this. I'm really scared for you."

Astrid thought hard and took a deep breath. "Okay. Let's go throw some weapons at trees. You and me."

Once they were in the forest, Astrid heaved her axe at the nearest hardwood tree and left it there. "Ruff, I can't tell you all the details, but here's what I _can_ tell you. Hiccup and Heather's marriage is a fake. They're legally married, but they... aren't acting like it. Got that so far?"

"Uhhh... no. Why would they do that?"

"She's going to have a real fiancée in her home town. Hiccup married her to... to deal with a situation that could be really bad for everybody. As soon as their honeymoon is done, they're going to get a divorce and she's supposed to go home."

"Uhhh... so that's _good_ news, right? She'll go away and you can get Hiccup back. Right?"

"Not if she keeps sinking her claws into him like she's been doing," Astrid said quietly. "They were supposed to be hands-off, but you told me yourself, they're lips-on. I don't think she wants to let him go."

Ruff recalled the scene in the forge. "Uhhh... is this one of those 'brain under siege' things again?"

"She's got _all_ of him under siege! He can't stand up to that kind of pressure all day, every day! She's too good at it!"

Ruff shook her head. "I'm not getting half of this. If this 'under siege' thing works so well against Hiccup, then why don't _you_ put him under siege?"

"I can't do that when he's married," she said quietly. "It's against all the rules."

"But if _she's_ going back on the deal and breaking all the rules, why can't you give her a taste of her own medicine?"

Astrid stared at her, suddenly alive again. "You know what, Ruff? That is a _very_ good question."


	13. Chapter 13

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 13

"Good morning, Hiccup."

Hiccup had been putting in a few hours each day in the forge lately. He was still on his honeymoon, but he felt bad for Gobber and wanted to help with the burgeoning workload. He'd showed up this morning, expecting to find a small mountain of tools and implements that needed repairs. He had _not_ expected to find Astrid standing in the doorway to his back room, looking very pretty and fetching, almost flirtatious.

"Uhh, good morning... Astrid. Good morning, Astrid! Astrid, good morning! I, uhh, I haven't seen you in a while."

She nodded. "I've been in mourning."

"Oh? I'm sorry, I didn't hear the news. Who passed away?"

"A friendship."

"Oh, Astrid, don't start! I've been on my _honeymoon_ – what do you expect from me?"

She reached out to tap the bent pitchfork in his hand. "If you can find time for _this_ on your honeymoon, is it that hard to find time for a friend?"

He sighed. "If you want me to say you win the argument, fine. You win, you've made your point, I'm wrong. Did you come here just for that?"

"No, I came here because I'm very worried about you. You're giving yourself over to someone who's not known for her honesty."

"Heather has not told me one single lie ever since this whole thing started! Astrid, jealousy doesn't look good on you."

"Let's talk about you, Hiccup. Didn't you tell me that you and she were going to have a fake marriage with no special affection?" He nodded.

She went on. "I've been told, by a reliable source, that the two of you have been making kissy-face together. Is that true?" He hung his head and nodded slowly.

"Okay. Now, as if I didn't know, who has broken that no-affection deal the most? Her or you?" He stared at her with that I-might-get-sick face of his, and she knew she'd struck home.

He set the end of the pitchfork down and let it fall against the wall. "Has my brain been under siege again?"

"Big time, Hiccup, big time. She's been pushing your man-buttons like crazy. I don't blame you for falling for it. Freyja gave girls that power over guys to keep it fair, because you're stronger than us. It isn't actually wrong, because you are, in fact, married.

"But, Hiccup, in less than a week, her parents are coming back to Berk with her future husband, and one of two things is going to happen. Either she's going to divorce you and leave you forever, or she's going to break the agreement and try to keep you. Which one of those two do you think she's going to do?"

He stared at her, stricken, at a loss for words.

"Okay, then tell me this. Which one are _you_ hoping for?"

He still had no answer.

"She's got her claws in you pretty deep, doesn't she?"

He finally found his voice. "Astrid, I went into this because she really needed me to do it. It turns out I've got needs, too, and she likes meeting those needs for me. We're good for each other."

His words cut her to the heart, but she struggled to not lose her cool – that was the _last_ thing she wanted to do. "So you _know_ she's got her claws in you, and you like it that way? That would be great, _if_ she was staying with you for life, like married people are supposed to do. The trouble is, in six or seven days, she's going to break your heart. She's kept you distracted, and you've been in denial, but you're running out of time.

"Hiccup, you need to start thinking about what's going to happen to _you_ when this marriage is over."

She stepped past him, touching him lightly on the shoulder as she went by, and left the forge.

He watched her go. He always loved to watch her walk. His shoulder felt warm where she'd touched him. But did he have a future with her? His father said she'd never have a big enough dowry.

After a minute, he banked the fire and left.

Heather was scrubbing the plates from their breakfast when he walked back into the house. "Hiccup, you're back early. Wasn't there any work for you at the forge?"

He sat on a bench near the fire pit and looked at her intently. "I was just thinking... what if the two of us just flew away? What if we got on Toothless and flew all the way down to the Danelaw, or maybe Eire, and started a life for ourselves, far away from Bergsveinn and his psycho family?"

She put down the plate she was working on. "His psycho family would destroy my family out of spite. I can't let that happen."

"Then we'll bring your parents with us! I know you don't want to be separated from them anyway. Those are big islands, with lots of room. I can easily support us by doing smithcraft, and..."

She sat down beside him, not quite touching him. "Hiccup, are you saying you want to break the agreement we made?"

"I'm saying I don't want to lose you!"

She looked at a spot on the floor. "You knew you were going to lose me the day you married me."

"But so much has changed since then! It's not the same situation as it was."

"Hiccup, how did we get so backwards? When we first met, I was the lying, conniving one, and you were the loyal, honorable one. Now _I'm_ trying to do the right thing, and _you're_ telling me not to!"

"Is it wrong for a man to want to hang on to his wife?"

"It's wrong for a man to break a deal," she said sadly.

"No matter who gets hurt?" he exclaimed.

"You're not the only one who's going to be hurting by this time next week," she sighed. "I've hurt enough people already; I probably deserve to be on the receiving end for a change.

"You never deserved to get hurt like this. I've done everything I could to make you happy, so maybe you'll have some happy memories to go with the sad ones. That's the best I could ever do for you, Hiccup." Her eyes welled up and she looked away.

"Even though, by drawing me closer to you, you _guaranteed_ that I'm going to get hurt?"

"You didn't resist," she sniffled. "When we got closer, it made you happy... that made _me_ happy, and we just pulled each other in."

"Heather... do you love me?"

"Of course I do!" she sobbed. "It wouldn't hurt this bad if I didn't!" Her eyes overflowed. "Oh, Hiccup, just _hold me!_" She flung her arms around him and wept into his shoulder. He held her tight with one hand and stroked her hair with the other, grateful that she couldn't see the tears rolling down his own cheeks. _We've come a long way from 'Hiccup, please don't touch me,'_ he thought.

She slowly regained her composure. He wiped a teardrop off her cheek, then bent down and kissed her quickly. It was the first time he'd taken the initiative.

She smiled, even though her cheeks were still tear-stained, and shook her head. "We can't do that any more. It's only making things worse for both of us."

He had to nod in agreement. When she was right, she was right.

"So what do we do next?" he asked.

"Enjoy the time we have left," she answered.

"You make it sound like someone is going to die."

"I know _I'm_ going to die, on the inside," she whispered.

He had a really bad feeling she wouldn't be the only one.


	14. Chapter 14

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 14

Hiccup was hammering out a new head for Tuffnut's spear when Fishlegs came pounding up to the forge doorway. "Hiccup! Your wife says you need to come home, right away!"

Hiccup froze in mid-swing. He knew, with a terrible sick certainty, what was about to happen. He cooled the work, banked the forge, told Gobber he probably wouldn't be back later, and forced himself to walk home.

When he got there, he found Heather standing by their bed, along with her parents, a well-dressed middle-aged couple, and a young man who looked like he could have posed for a statue of Baldr, except for the scar on his neck. They were all staring at him as he entered.

"_That's_ your husband?" the young man said in disbelief. "I was expecting a man!"

"Never mind that," said the well-dressed man. "He's here. Let's get this over with."

"Hiccup, I'm sorry," Heather said. "Father, mother, friends, ever since our wedding night, this man has not been a husband to me in the night. I don't know if he is a man at all. I'm requesting a divorce. This marriage is over."

"We are witnesses," her father said.

"We are witnesses," the rest repeated.

"By prior agreement, my parents will keep the bride-price, and my ex-father-in-law will keep the dowry," she went on. "I'll keep the morning-gift. As for our communal property, I want nothing, except that small chest and what is inside it."

"I'm surprised you want _any_ reminders of this awful place," Bergsveinn said.

"We have no children, so we don't need to make any of those arrangements," she finished. "I am returning to my parents' home and care, until such time as I remarry." She turned to her parents. "Is there anything else?"

"No, we're done," her father said.

"Let's go home," her mother added. They both seemed very uncomfortable.

Hiccup still hadn't moved or spoken a word.

Just like that, it was over.

Heather removed the ring of guest-house keys from her belt, and gently set them down on the bench near the fire pit. They all filed out the door, right past Hiccup, without paying him any further notice. Bergsveinn was the last one out. He crossed the threshold, then stepped back and looked at the drawing of Hiccup and Heather on the wall. Without a word, he tore it down, crumpled it, and threw it in the fire pit. There was a quick flash of flame, and it was gone. He strode away with a triumphant grin.

Hiccup had imagined that he might have had a stinging comment for this arrogant youth, who couldn't be more than a year or two older than he was. But inside him there was nothing now, no words of any kind, just a black empty vacuum. He couldn't even cry. He hadn't felt so desolate since the day he'd lost Toothless, his father, and his tribe all at once. He slowly stepped out of the house and watched them walking away toward the docks.

When they were about a stone's throw away, Heather stopped. "Wait," she told her family. "I want to say goodbye to the man who was my husband."

"He's nothing to you now," Bergsveinn said. "You should stay with your family and go with _us._" It didn't sound like a suggestion.

"Bergsveinn, when we are married, I will obey you. When we are betrothed, I will respect you. But today, I will listen to you, and if I don't like what I hear, I'll _ignore_ you!" She turned her back on Bergsveinn and his shocked parents, and walked back to face Hiccup.

"I'm sorry I had to say it that way," she began.

"Even at the end, you never told any lies," he answered softly.

She nodded. "When we made this agreement, you said you wanted your memories of our time together to be good ones. I hope you still feel that way. I know I do, because you gave me much more than just a way out of a bad situation.

"You taught me to trust, you taught me to forgive, you taught me to laugh again... I had so little to give you in return, but I gave you what I could. I know you'll probably forget me in time, but I'm _never_ going to forget you. When I'm stuck in that beast's house, cleaning up his dirty bootprints and preparing his favorite foul-smelling sausage for supper, then maybe I'll think about standing on a dragon's back a mile above the earth, or hunting for buried treasure together, or just sitting by the fire in the evening with someone who cares how I feel... and maybe those memories will be enough to get me by."

"Heather, if you _could_ stay, _would_ you stay?"

"Don't torture yourself, Hiccup," she said sadly. "We knew this day would come before we even started. We never had a chance.

"Oh, there's one more thing." She put down the chest, opened it, and handed him something wrapped in an old curtain. "White gold and blue sapphires... those just aren't my colors. This will look much better on a blonde." Just before she closed the chest, he noticed that she'd added something to her treasure – his drawing of the wildflowers.

She blinked back tears. "Thank you for everything, Hiccup," she whispered. "Goodbye."

She turned and slowly walked back to rejoin her family.

He watched them walk down the ramps to the docks. He watched the ship leave Berk's little harbor and raise its sail. Then he sensed someone moving nearby. It was Snotlout, who had stepped out from behind the house and was standing just behind him now, arms folded. A few seconds later, Ruffnut and Tuffnut joined him. Then Fishlegs appeared from the other side of the house, and Astrid showed up last of all. None of them spoke or moved. He knew they were there for _him_, though. They had come just to support him. It helped somehow. They all watched the ship until it was out of sight.

At last, Snotlout spoke. "Do you know what I'd do if I were you? I'd wait until that ship was a mile from the nearest land, then I'd get on my dragon, and I'd turn that ship into their _flaming funeral ship!_"

"I'd be glad to do that for you if you want me to," added Astrid in a flat, deadly voice. He glanced at her and realized that she really meant it.

Hiccup slowly turned to face his friends. "Mark it down on your calendars," he said slowly. "Today was the day that half of me almost agreed with Snotlout." He looked back out to sea. He closed his eyes and shook his head. "No. Let's not bring any more pain into the world today. I think we've got enough."

He turned, walked into the house that had been his and Heather's, and closed the door behind him.

**o**

Far out at sea, Mrs. Ketilsson was watching Heather. Her daughter stood in the bow of the ship, leaning on the gunwale, almost motionless.

"Is she seasick?" her husband asked.

"No, she's heartsick," Mrs. Ketilsson replied. "I think our plan backfired somehow."

"I can't see how," he said. "The young man was kind, but he wasn't the sort of boy that a girl would lose her heart to."

She walked forward quietly. She wasn't sure what she would say to her daughter. In the event, she said nothing. She just listened for a moment as Heather quietly sang a song she'd once heard from a traveling minstrel –

"Promise me, when you see  
"A white rose, you'll think of me.  
"I love you so; never let go.  
"I will be your ghost of a rose."

Mrs. Ketilsson returned to her husband's side. "It backfired. Horribly."

**o**

A/N  
_The song lyrics are from "Ghost of a Rose" by Blackmore's Night._


	15. Chapter 15

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 15

Hiccup spent the next three weeks in a mindless daze. Gobber gave him basic tasks to do; he seemed incapable of following any but the simplest instructions. His friends stopped by the forge often to check on him, but he didn't do well at holding up his end of a conversation.

Astrid was among those who stopped by. He was happy enough to see her, but he kept hearing his father's words – "Not enough dowry... not enough dowry..." He kept himself a little bit distant from her. Why get involved, and get his heart broken again, if he already knew they had no future together? _Been there, done that,_ he thought sadly.

The town was completely on his side. If Heather had stayed, she would have found no good will at all. How could anyone _do_ such a thing to their Hiccup! He received all kinds of sympathy, especially from the women.

He spent every spare moment taking off with Toothless. He got no joy from the crazy stunts they used to try. He just wanted to go somewhere that didn't remind him of _her_. But even the back of his own dragon was no escape now. He'd done too good a job of weaving her into every aspect of his life. Somehow he'd never taken her to the cove; that became his refuge. Even in that private place, there was a patch of those white wildflowers that he carefully avoided looking at.

Stoick, in spite of all his work and distractions, eventually noticed the change in his son. Finally, as Hiccup tried to sneak upstairs behind him one night, he called him back down. "Hiccup, I know you got very hurt by that girl. That wasn't part of the plan, and I feel bad about it. I want to know what I can do to help make things better."

"There's nothing you can do," Hiccup said sullenly. Then, suddenly, he looked up. "No, that's not true. Do you know what would make things better? If you would finish making the arrangements with the Hoffersons, for me and Astrid."

"Son, I told you before – their dowry is too small for a chief's son."

"I don't see why that's a problem. You accepted a pretty small dowry from the Ketilssons, didn't you?"

"That engagement was important to them."

Hiccup hadn't raised his voice to his father since he was five years old, but something inside him snapped. "_This_ engagement is important to _me_, Dad! How much am _I_ worth to you?"

Stoick stared down at his son in shock for a few seconds. Then he let himself smile, rested a huge hand on his son's shoulder, and nodded. "More than I can say. I'll speak to Mr. Hofferson first thing in the morning. Go get some sleep, son."

The chief was as good as his word. When Hiccup walked by the Hofferson house later that morning, he saw his father leaving. Stoick saw his son and gave him a smile and a thumbs-up signal. The black cloud that had filled his heart for weeks began to lift.

Astrid dropped by the forge that afternoon. "Hi, Hiccup. Heard any interesting news lately?"

"Yeah," he answered without looking up from his work. "I think my dad is working out another engagement for me."

"Oh, really?" she asked, fear rising in her heart. "So soon? Did he find you another pretty stranger who's going to break your heart again?"

"Nah," he replied. "It's some crazy warrior chick who beats guys up. They say she's a terror with a two-bladed axe."

The next thing he knew, she'd spun him away from his work and slammed him up against the wall. "Is _this_ how I find out about my own..." Her voice trailed away. She saw _fear_ in his eyes. She was sure that, of all the emotions Heather might have brought out in him, fear was not one of them.

_Think__, Astrid. Do you __really__ want your future husband to be __afraid__ of you? Especially after everything he's just been through?_

She let go of his shirt and loosened her fist. "I'm sorry," she said. "Can I try that again, with a little less violence?"

"Astrid," he said earnestly, "you can bruise my arm. You can throw me against the wall. You can beat me senseless every morning if that's what you think you have to do. Just promise me two things: that you'll never lie to me, and that you'll never leave me."

_Those are the two ways __she__ hurt him. I've got a memory for a rival,_ she thought. _It's hard to compete against memories. But watch me try_.

She smoothed his shirt front. "I think we could set the bar a little higher than _that_, couldn't we?"

"Okay," he said, regaining some confidence. "What if, sometimes, you let _me_ be the man? What if, just now and then, you let yourself be needy, and let me take care of you?"

"You're asking a lot of a Viking shieldmaiden," she answered.

"I'm not asking it of a shieldmaiden," he said. "I'm asking it of the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with." His green eyes were warm, and _so_ inviting...

She slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Maybe she wasn't quite as gentle as the perfect girls in the fairy stories, but it wasn't her usual lip-lock attack, either. He tensed up at first, but then she felt him relax and respond to her. It was as if they were sharing something, rather than feeling like she'd conquered him. Maybe she'd gotten it wrong up until now...?

When she released him, he looked dazed, and slumped back against the wall with a sigh. That was a _lot_ more fun than throwing him there, she decided, and he was _still_ completely in her power.

"There isn't much girly-girl in me," she said. "I'll try my best, but I can't promise I'll never belt you in the arm again, or anything like that."

"I can live with that; honestly, I can," he said. "But I mean it about the never-leaving part."

"I'll promise you that right now," she whispered. "She was a fool to let you go. You are _never_ getting away from me!"

"Never?"

"Never," she purred, resting her hands on his shoulders. "Your brain is officially under siege by _me_, from now until your dying day. I'm getting _my_ claws into you now!"

"Good. I like it that way," he nodded, and for the first time in weeks, he smiled.

His smile was her victory.

**o**

A/N _When I first wrote this story, it ended here. I later decided to wrap up some loose ends, which wound up occupying a bunch more chapters. Reviewers, I'm curious – once you've read the whole story, do you think I should have stopped here?_


	16. Chapter 16

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 16

The announcement of their engagement sent shock waves through the entire community. Just like last time.

The questions flew thick and fast around the town. "Again, so soon?" "Didn't he learn _anything_ from the first time around?" "Can't he make up his mind who he wants to marry?" "What is his father _thinking?_"

Other people's questions were more specific and pointed.

"Hey, lover-boy! How does Astrid kiss, compared to Heather?"

Hiccup looked up from his forge work to see Ruffnut leering at him from the window. He couldn't decide which irritated him more, her question or her expression.

"Don't you think that's kind of private, Ruff?"

She grinned wolfishly. "In your own house, it's private. Here in the forge, that's for anybody to see. And, boy, did I ever _see!_"

"Fine, so Astrid and I had a private moment in a not-so-private place. It's not like the first time, in front of the whole village."

"No, I don't mean you and Astrid. I mean you and the _other_ one! You know, in your little room back there, with the box full of sparkly jewelry? Don't tell me you forgot about _that_ one! She almost knocked you off your feet with her lips!"

Hiccup's blood ran cold. He would really prefer that _that_ episode _not_ become public knowledge.

"How did you know about that?" he demanded.

"I was in the forge, looking for my brother's spear," she smirked. "I saw _everything_. I didn't tell Astrid while she was down and hurting. But now that she's back to normal, I bet she'd _love_ to hear about it!"

"No, I... really think she wouldn't," Hiccup stammered. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because, when she unloads on you, it's going to be the best show since Hookfang set Snotlout's pants on fire!" Ruff grinned. "I'm going to be there to watch the whole thing, and I'm going to love every _minute_ of it! Maybe I could sell tickets."

"Uhh, you know, maybe it would be better for everybody if she _didn't_ find out about that," he quavered. "I mean, we were _married_ – there was nothing wrong with it!"

"Yeah, yeah, just try explaining that to Miss Volcano Temper! For four weeks, you and the brunette with the braid put her through Hel, and _I_ got to pick up the pieces. I got a little tired of that. So I'm going to enjoy it when _she_ takes _you_ to pieces. Woo-hoo, what a show _that's_ going to be!" She laughed maniacally as she strutted away.

"Dat da-dah, I'm dead." Hiccup stared at the hunk of metal he was holding, and tried to remember what he was supposed to be doing with it. Would Ruff really carry out her threat? Oh, yes, she would; he didn't doubt that for an instant. There was only one question: what could he do about it?

Would it help if Astrid found out about it from him first? He didn't know. Would that make it worse? Probably not; he didn't see how it _could_ get worse. She was going to hit the roof when she found out about his indiscretion, and then she was going to hit _him_. It wouldn't be her usual swat on the arm, either.

The alternative was to let Ruff tell her. That would _definitely_ be worse. Neither option was very appealing, though.

In the event, Astrid made it easy for him. She caught him in the forge near quitting time, and said four words that strike terror into every man:

"We need to talk."

"Uhh, okay." He couldn't read her expression. "Is this a private talk?" She folded her arms and nodded.

"Is this about us?" he asked. She nodded again.

"Is it worth breaking the rule about engaged people never being alone together?"

"Quit stalling, Hiccup!" she growled.

"Okay. What do you say we fly our dragons out to the cove, and talk there? That's our special place, right?"

"Did you ever take _her_ out there?" she wanted to know.

"No. No, that's one place I never took her."

"The cove, it is," she nodded. "I'll see you there in half an hour. No, I'll rephrase – I'd _better_ see you there in half an hour!" She gave his arm a flick with her finger and walked away.

He had to admit, the way she walked was quite a pleasing sight. Too bad she was probably going to walk all over him in half an hour.

There was only one cure for a case of nerves like the one he had. That was to go flying on the fastest, most awesome dragon in Berk, and do some aerial tricks that would frighten him even more than Astrid frightened him. Toothless was always willing for a flight like that, of course. They worked on Hiccup's newest stunt that involved the stone arch. He already knew he could run across it and leap over it; now he was trying to get Toothless to do such a tight loop-the-loop _around_ it that he could reach "up" while upside-down and run his fingers along the top of the arch. They were getting close to success when he realized his half-hour was almost up.

"Let's go, bud. We need to get back to the cove. Astrid will be waiting for us, and I do _not_ want to keep her waiting." The dragon seemed to sense the change in Hiccup's mood. He flew straight and level, with no fancy moves of any kind; that was unusual for him.

It was his lucky night, if you could call it that: he got there first. She showed up about a minute after he'd dismounted. Stormfly landed next to Toothless, and the dragons took a drink together as Astrid approached Hiccup.

"Well?" she said.

"Uhh, you called for this conversation, so you're the only one who knows what you want to talk about."

"I need to know where I stand," she said.

"Well, you're engaged to me. Betrothed. Affianced. Pledged in marriage."

"Very funny, Hiccup. And _you_ are doomed, condemned, lost, sure to die, unless you tell me what went on with you and _her_. I thought you two were supposed to be faking the marriage? Hands off? No kissy-kissy? _What happened?_"

"Uhhh... what happened is, I was nice to her, and she liked it, so she was nice to me, and I liked it, and we just kept getting nicer to each other."

Her temper began rising. "How could you even _think_ of being _that_ nice to the Queen of the Liars?"

"This wasn't like last time, Astrid. She was in a really bad situation that she didn't ask for. She never told me a single lie this time. I'm sure of that."

"Except the part about how she was going to keep her hands off you! Remember _that_ one?"

"She didn't lie on purpose! Neither of us planned it – it just... happened. I don't think she was used to someone being nice to her. It blew her away; she didn't know how to respond. So she was nice to me in return."

"And what was _your_ excuse for going along with it?" she demanded.

"Uhh... can I plead guilty by reason of my brain was under siege?" She belted him in the arm. "Okay, maybe not. Astrid, you're beautiful, wonderful, amazing, exciting, and a whole bunch of other things, but sometimes you scare me. She never scared me. She was just nice, with no price to pay. I guess I fell for that."

"Uh-huh," she nodded. "And what's going to happen the _next_ time some girl goes all nice on you? Are you going to fall for her, too?"

"Astrid, why can't _you_ be the girl who goes all nice on me? You're the one I've loved all my life, and you're the one I'm engaged to. All you have to do is ease up on the violence, and the deal is sealed." He looked at her earnestly. "I _want_ you to be that girl!"

She rested her hands on his shoulders. "There's one thing you have to tell me, Hiccup. How far did you two go?"

He listened to the crickets and the sounds of flowing water. This peaceful cove, the scene where he formed his closest friendship and received his first kiss, might be a murder scene before the sun came up.

The alternative was lying to her. That wasn't an alternative at all. Heather had learned that lesson; he could do no less.

"She planted a really good one on me, _once_. I didn't fight it. It was... it just happened."

Astrid's face darkened. He didn't want to guess what she was thinking. She suddenly turned and walked a few steps away, arms folded.

"All I can say is, I'm sorry." He didn't think he _should_ say any more.

In one smooth motion, she spun and unleashed a right cross that was aimed at his jaw. He couldn't have dodged it if he tried, and he was too startled to try. But she stopped herself at the last moment, stared at her fist, and forced herself to unclench it.

"That's the wrong answer," she said sadly.

"Astrid, it's the only answer I –"

"No, I mean that's the wrong answer for _me_ to give _you,_" she said. "I can't put all the blame on you. Only half. Maybe less, because you had no idea what you were getting into."

"You're giving me a pass for being stupid?" he asked, confused. "I guess I should be thankful, but... should I be?"

"Not stupid, Hiccup. Just ignorant. They're not the same. The ones who thought they could put a boy and a girl under the same roof for a month, with the right to do whatever you wanted, and thought nothing would happen... _they're_ the ones who weren't too bright.

"Hiccup, I'm actually relieved. I thought you would have gone a lot further than you did. Sure, I wish you'd kept your hands off each other completely. But with the situation Heather's parents put you in, that wasn't realistic. I don't know how much pressure she put on you, and I don't ever want to know. All I know is, you've shown that you can set a limit and keep it; you can be a gentleman and behave under pressure. Definitely not perfect, but pretty darned good. I know I can trust you."

She rested her hands on his shoulders again. "That means a lot to the girl you're marrying for life." She laid another epic kiss on him, forcing herself to be gentle. "Now, have you completely forgotten about her?"

"Forgotten about who?" She loved that dazed look she'd put in his eyes. It was _way_ better than fear. She'd have to rethink her entire way of relating to him. Well, you know, most of it.

"Let's go home, Hiccup. I'm sure people are wondering where we've gone. Technically, we're not supposed to be alone together, now that we're engaged."

He nodded. "Yeah, I seem to remember something about that." They mounted their dragons and glided home.

After a few minutes, Hiccup called out, "Did you notice how Toothless and Stormfly are practicing flying wingtip-to-wingtip? It's as though they expect to be spending a lot of time together in the air. Do you think they understand what's going on between us?"

"Who knows?" Astrid shouted back. "Dragons can be very perceptive sometimes."

They landed together and walked side by side to the Mead Hall for supper. Ruffnut met them on the path, and her face lit up in a most unpleasant way.

"Astrid!" she grinned. "Just the person I want to talk to! And Hiccup! Just the person I want to talk _about!_"

"Ruff, I wouldn't," Hiccup warned her.

"I know _you_ wouldn't!" she replied malevolently. "But _I_ would, and I _will!_ Astrid, you _have_ to know about this!" She bent over and whispered in Astrid's ear for a lot longer than Hiccup thought she would.

Astrid listened to what her friend had to say. Then she calmly turned and whacked Ruff in the arm, quite hard. "_That's_ for trying to stir up trouble!" She spun and kissed Hiccup quickly on the lips. "And _that's_ a sneak preview of 'everything else'." He looked stunned, so she grabbed his hand and led him away toward the Mead Hall, leaving Ruffnut equally stunned and wondering how her perfect plan had gone wrong.

_Boys!_ _They ruin everything! _she thought. _Well, __some__ boy needs a beating, and if Astrid won't do it to Hiccup, then I'll have to do it to my brother. Now, where is __he__ hiding?_

**o**

A/N

_Important:_ DO NOT go straight to the next chapter! To find out what happens next, read my story "Man in the Middle," which I wrote as a stand-alone piece, but which also serves as the next four chapters in this story. Then, and only then, should you continue reading the chapters in this story. Otherwise, parts of the rest of the story will leave you baffled.


	17. Chapter 21

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 21

A/N _I hope you've read "Man in the Middle" as I urged you to do at the end of Chapter 16. That story constitutes chapters 17-20 of this story. If you skipped it, much of this chapter will leave you confused._

**o**

"Do we really have to face all those people again, Hiccup? I just feel so... so _girly!_" Astrid still wasn't happy about having to wear her white dress. She resolved to bring her armor to the wedding night if she ever got married again. Wait – what was she _thinking? _ This "married" thing was going to take some getting used to.

"I'm sure you'll get over it," Hiccup smiled. "In the meantime, I'm kind of liking it. And yes, we _do_ have to face all those people again. The presenting of the morning-gift is just as much a part of the wedding as the vows."

"Where did we come up with all these weird traditions, anyway?" she wondered. "Throwing swords, sprinkling pig's blood on people... and this morning-gift! It basically means you're _paying_ me for... for what we just did."

"No, I'm _thanking_ you," he said with an even bigger smile. "Big difference. You may like it better when you see what you're getting."

"Hiccup, I got _you!_ And I got you without the whole town watching! That's all the gift I want!"

"Astrid, my reluctant bride, there's no escaping this. We can go for a ride with our dragons after we're done, but the town is going to give us no peace until _all_ the traditions are fulfilled. So brush your hair and think pretty thoughts; they're waiting for us." They reassured Toothless that they'd be back soon. He looked sad, but didn't follow them.

As they left their house, Hiccup paused. "One more thing, Astrid. You get to wear these now." He took an iron ring off a nail in the wall and handed it to her. Hung from the ring were all the keys to everything in the house. "It's a sign of your new authority over everything that happens inside these walls."

"Does that include dragons jumping on me?" she demanded with a trace of a smile.

"Toothless didn't come with a key," he answered. "You'll have to negotiate a separate peace with him. But, like I said, I think you've already done that. Come, my lovely wife; let's head for the Mead Hall." She hung the ring on her sash, accepting her new role as a housewife.

_I trained my entire life to fight battles and slay dragons, and now I'm a housewife,_ she thought. _I guess I'd rather be a housewife for Hiccup than a warrior all by myself_. They left their house together.

This whole "marriage" thing still seemed utterly strange to her. Words like "lovely" and "wife" had never been spoken to her before. Walking around town in a dress, with no armor or weapons, was also unfamiliar. Strangest of all was the idea that she and this boy – no, this _young man_ – next to her were now bound together for the rest of their lives, body, heart and soul. The keys jingled as they dangled from her sash. She tried to take too long a stride in her dress, and tripped; Hiccup caught her arm and steadied her.

Utterly strange.

Everyone cheered when they stepped into the Mead Hall, except for the ones who had fallen asleep or passed out. They walked hand in hand to the center table, where Stoick waited with the morning-gift.

"Welcome and good morning, son, daughter," he beamed. "Congratulations again. I hope we can do this without any more, uhh, _incidents_."

"I left Toothless at home, so it could happen, Dad," Hiccup said. He pulled out a chair and seated his bride at the table. He remained standing.

Stoick turned and, with great dignity, handed a small chest to Astrid. It was only about six inches long, but felt heavy. She opened it... and stared. The chief had filled the little chest from bottom to top with stacks of small gold coins. No one had mentioned gold before; she'd never seen that much in one place in her life. She had just become wealthy. It was a good thing she wasn't expected to say anything; she was speechless.

Her parents leaned over to take a look. "Is everything satisfactory?" Stoick asked.

"Everything is satisfactory," her father said with a nod.

"In that case," Stoick bellowed, "all the terms of the wedding contract have been fulfilled! It's time for a –"

"Wait! Wait!" Hiccup shouted; it was hard to hear him over his exuberant father, but somehow he managed it. "There's one more thing! I'd like to add something of my own to the morning-gift."

This was not according to tradition at all! The amount of the morning-gift was arranged at the same time as the dowry and the bride-price. It could never be reduced after that, and no one had ever heard of increasing it. But, after all, this was Hiccup, so no one was completely astonished. All eyes (especially Astrid's) were on him as he walked to a corner table, reached underneath it, and retrieved something wrapped in white linen cloth.

"I hid this here, the night before the ceremony, so it would be here when I needed it," he said as he walked back to Astrid. Everyone could hear him, but he was speaking only to her. "This is a little something special, just for you, from me." He handed it to her. The whole town tried to see as she unwrapped it.

Inside was an exquisitely wrought white-gold circlet, with one huge blue sapphire set in the middle.

Everyone ooh'ed and ahh'ed. She kept looking back and forth from the circlet to Hiccup. She finally found her voice. "Are you trying to make me look like a girly-girl?" she asked quietly

"I'm trying to make you look like what you are. The queen of my heart. May I?" She nodded slowly and handed him the circlet. He took it in both hands and set it on her head, then stepped back.

He'd been very afraid that he'd have flashbacks of Heather when he saw Astrid wearing the circlet. His fears were groundless. She looked like a goddess! Somehow those thin metal strands lit up her entire face.

She saw him gaping at her. She decided she _liked_ having that powerful an effect on him, without having to exert any effort. It might even be worth dressing up like a girl. She smiled, and that completed her conquest. Now _he_ was the speechless one.

She stood gracefully, rested her hands on his shoulders, leaned in, and whispered, "No price to pay," just before giving him the most intense kiss of his newly-wedded life. Everyone cheered and applauded again when they released each other. This time, the many spectators didn't bother her so much, mostly because she was totally fixated on just one person and his loving green eyes.

Stoick rested one hand on each of their shoulders with a huge smile, and quietly said, "Well done, both of you. Hiccup, your mother would have been proud. I know I am."

Hiccup tore his eyes away from Astrid. "Thanks, Dad." His gaze wandered back to his bride. Stoick chuckled.

"Oh, go on back home, you lovebirds! We'll keep the party going without you!"

"Thank you!" they said in unison, and hastened for the door, followed by more cheers and well-wishes.

Once outside the Hall, she took a deep breath. "That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. But I _do_ need to change into my normal clothes."

"I hate for you to take that dress off, and especially the circlet," he nodded. "But we owe our dragons a morning ride, and I know you can't fly when you're dressed like that."

"I can't do _anything_ when I'm dressed like this!" she sputtered.

"Oh, I don't know," he smiled. "You did a pretty good job of leaving me speechless back there. Does that count?"

"About that," she smiled back. "Are you going to go into a slack-jawed stupor every time I dress up like a girl?"

"Probably," he nodded. The idea didn't seem to bother him.

"Good," she replied, and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll remember that, next time I want something from you. Now let's get changed and go flying."

He nodded, although the idea seemed superfluous. He felt like he was flying already.


	18. Chapter 22

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 22

"Get out!"

Bergsveinn's voice was low and hateful. Heather had learned to identify that tone as his I-wish-I-could-hit-you voice, because those were his words when he first used that tone on her, barely two weeks into their marriage. But there was an extra edge to his words this time. She spoke carefully, not wanting to antagonize him.

"What have I done?"

"Are you still going to pretend you don't know?" he snarled.

"It's early morning; I just woke up! How could I have done _anything?_" She did her best to sound reasonable.

"That sham marriage of yours!" he exploded. "It wasn't such a sham, was it?"

Where had _that_ come from? "Bergsveinn, you saw how it ended. He didn't contest the divorce; he didn't even try to hold me back when I walked out! It was nothing! You're a witness to that."

His eyes narrowed. "Then explain _why,_ in what was supposed to be a moment of passion last night... _why_ did you call me _Hiccup!?_"

She tried not to let her emotions show. _Oh, Freyja, how did I get into __this__ one? How do I get __out__ of it?_

She'd once told Hiccup that, when Viking girls are compelled to marry someone they don't care for, they always find a way to get by. That was true. What she didn't tell him was that they don't always find a _good_ way.

In their most private moments, Bergsveinn had proven himself to be the same selfish savage he appeared to be in public. She'd found that the only way she could endure him was to close her eyes and pretend they were Hiccup's hands, Hiccup's lips... It wasn't right, but he wasn't treating _her_ right, either. But she'd let it go too far in her mind, just as she'd let it go too far in her heart when Hiccup was there next to her. Either way, it was just a matter of time until the truth came out. Now it was out, and if she knew Bergsveinn, her _life_ was hanging in the balance.

She had to play this game _very_ carefully now. Her husband held the cards in the strength and rage departments. Her hand was a lot weaker and harder to win with.

"Are you demanding a divorce, Bergsveinn?"

"Take your belongings and go, you _seið-kona!_ I don't know how you bewitched me, but you will never do it again."

"If you throw me out without a good reason, a third of what's yours will be mine." That, of course, was her strongest card to play. Viking divorce laws were remarkably generous toward women. Money was Bergsveinn's god, and his wealth was his weakness. He would give up a great deal to avoid taking that kind of a loss.

"I'll give the witnesses a good reason! Just the fact that you called that bean-pole's name in the night is _proof _that you are not a faithful wife!"

"It's also proof that you can't displace that bean-pole out of my heart and mind, Bergsveinn. Are you ready to admit _that _in front of witnesses?" That was a veiled attack on his manhood. She didn't dare take a more direct attack. He might murder her on the spot.

For the space of several breaths, he glared at her, and she worried that she might have pushed him too far. Then he flung open the door to their house. "You!" he called, pointing at someone who was passing by. "Come in here! You and you, come in here too!" Three strangers from the village stepped into the house, somewhat fearfully, it seemed to her. Bergsveinn stood by the bed.

"You three are witnesses. I am divorcing this woman because... because we are incapable of living within a league of each other. She can keep the bride-price, the dowry, and the morning-gift... the _dowry!_ What a joke _that_ was! And she can keep what was hers before." He turned to her. "The law allows you one-third of what is ours. I _suggest_ you forsake your claim on that." It was the I-wish-I-could-hit-you voice again. The witnesses might not be aware of the threat behind his words, but she knew what he meant. A dead woman can't spend her ex-husband's money.

"I willingly renounce my claim to our communal property." Like he'd once said, she wanted no reminders of this awful place.

He turned back to the three strangers. "We have no children, the gods be praised, so this matter is done. You are witnesses."

"We are witnesses," they said raggedly.

"You may go," he told them. Then he spun on Heather. "You may also go, _now_. If you don't leave my house before they do, they'll have to _carry _you out!"

"Wait!" she cried at the witnesses. "You have to verify that I'm not taking anything that belongs to him." That would safeguard her against any future accusations that she'd stolen his stuff. More importantly, it would keep them in the house until she was ready to leave. He wouldn't murder her in front of witnesses. She hoped.

He seethed and sat down heavily on the bed. She was surprised the bedclothes didn't catch fire where he touched them. She quickly gathered her clothes, a few of her favorite kitchen implements, and her precious treasure chest. When she was ready to go, she pulled the ring of house keys off her sash and threw it on the bed, like it was something unclean. Then, for the second time in less than half a year, she turned her back on her ex-husband and walked away. This time, there was no pain or regret, only relief. The witnesses hastened to follow her; they couldn't wait to get away from this awkward scene.

When she was about twelve steps away from the house, she heard him at the door. "You have humiliated me more than any real man can bear. Enjoy your life of freedom while it lasts." He slammed the door before she could reply.

So he _did _intend to kill her. It was kind of him to warn her in advance.

She made her way to her parents' house; there was no place else for her to go. The old house was looking better nowadays. She'd kept her promise to give her father some of the treasure she and Hiccup had found, and he'd used it for some long-deferred upkeep on the family home.

Both her parents were home. As soon as she stepped in the door with her belongings in her arms, they knew why. It was just a question of explaining the details. She decided to be completely honest with them. Honesty had worked well with Hiccup; perhaps it was a good way to treat anyone she cared about.

Her father shook his head. "That would make any man angry. But a divorce... I'm not sure that's justified."

Her mother was even more dismayed. "How could you do that, Heather? You and Hiccup had a deal! You weren't supposed to... do _that_."

"We didn't, Mother! We kept that agreement; I told you that." She hung her head sadly. "But the agreement was for how we'd treat each other on the outside. We forgot to make any deals about our hearts."

Her father was perplexed, but her mother understood. "What are you going to do?"

"I can't stay here; he'll come looking for me here." She thought hard. "He won't relent as long as I'm alive. He might even hire men to kill me. I need to go far, far away, and I need to make sure I'm safe, no matter what."

"What if he, or his family, goes after us instead? They could ruin us financially," her father worried.

"Legally, he can't," she answered. "He initiated the divorce, so the fault is his. If he or his family tries anything against you, you can take them before the Thing and demand compensation. You could even ruin them, instead of them ruining you. I'm sure his family knows that, and he'll figure it out after he cools down. This is going to be about him and me."

"He's a lot bigger and nastier than you," her father observed.

"I know," she nodded. _I need a friend who's even bigger and nastier,_ she thought. Then she suddenly smiled.

"I think I know a way. But I'll need help. And I don't know if he'd be willing to help me again."


	19. Chapter 23

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 23

Stoick was relaxing in his house after a _very _long day of doing chief things. He'd had to name a new baby, settle two domestic disputes, organize a search for a missing child, say a few words about the new Mead-Hall cook's first meal, negotiate a deal between the sheep owners and the women who carded and spun the wool, and come up with an inspirational speech to encourage the fishermen who had come home with empty nets today. He urgently needed his down-time.

There was a knock at the front door. It wasn't a powerful knock; that meant it was either a woman, a child, or Hiccup. Children didn't knock on his door very often, and Hiccup never knocked, even though he no longer lived here. It had to be a woman. He hoped it wasn't Hildegard the Ham-Hocked again. That husband-hunting spinster had decided he'd been a widower too long, and she wasn't taking "no" for an answer. He set aside his wood-carving tools and the almost-complete duck decoy, and opened the door.

It was Heather.

His face darkened. "I thought we had a deal. You were supposed to leave and never return!"

"I know," she began, "but –"

"In any case, Hiccup no longer lives here."

She looked stunned. "Wh- where did he go?"

"He is living in his new house, quite happily, with his _new wife,_" the chief growled, putting extra emphasis on those last two words so she'd get the message.

"Oh." She reminded him of a fast-sailing ship that had suddenly hit a submerged rock. "Can you tell me where that is, please?"

"I have no reason to think he _ever_ wants to see you again, young lady."

"Please, Chief Stoick! It's a matter of life and death!"

"Whose life?" he asked. "Yours?" She nodded unhappily. "You've found a brand-new kind of trouble to get into?" She nodded again. "It wasn't your fault, of course?" She paused, then nodded.

Stoick put his hands on his hips and bent down to look Heather in the eye; she had to back off a step. "If I were a clever man like my son, I'd find a way to send you to the Berserkers, or maybe the Outcasts. Then you could bring your disasters to _them,_ and make _my_ life easier. But I'm an old-school Viking. I have to leave the cleverness to others. Hiccup is his own man now; he can decide whether he wants to talk to you or not. His wife will also have a say in the matter, if I know her.

"Their house is the new one at the end of Tradesmen's Row. If you tell them I sent you, I'll deny it. I have enough matters of life and death to deal with; I have no energy left to handle yours." He stood, went back inside, and firmly closed the door.

She made her way toward Tradesmen's Row. She was pretty sure she remembered where that was. The sun was beginning to go down; she didn't have all day to find her destination and plead her case. She saw some familiar faces, but everyone looked away as soon as they recognized her.

Astrid was returning from the market with a couple of halibuts, taking a shortcut between the rows of houses. She was trying one of her mother's recipes, one that called for pounding the fish flat with a mallet (just before slashing through the skin, giving the belly a slice, then rubbing some salt in 'cause that makes it taste nice). She thought it would save some pounding if she started with a fish that was already flat.

Today was Thorsday, which she and her husband had informally dubbed "Astrid Learns to Cook Day." They could always take their meals in the Mead Hall with the rest of the tribe, but she felt that she ought to learn how to make her husband happy the old-fashioned way, through his stomach, because that's what Viking wives were supposed to do. Even with much help and coaching from her mother, cooking was as unnatural to her as being a brawny warrior was to her husband. But she was determined to succeed, and he was very tolerant of her shortcomings in the kitchen.

She looked at the two fish in her bag and said out loud, "This time! This time, for sure!" She realized she'd said that before, but she couldn't recall when or where.

She also realized that she'd just seen a very familiar silhouette at the head of her street.

She peered between two houses to make sure, then broke into a run. She burst into the house, startling Hiccup, who was drawing something at his desk.

"_Hiccup!_" she screamed. "Put the drawing away and help me! She's back again! She's headed this way!"

"Who's back? Your mother?" he asked.

"No, not my mother! _Heather _is back!" Astrid shouted, hitting him in the arm as she ran by. She threw the fish onto the cutting block. "Someone must have told her where we live! Where's my axe? Find your sword! She is _not _setting foot in _our _house!"

"Whoa, slow down!" he exclaimed. "Are you _sure _it's her?"

"Of course I'm sure!" she snapped. "How could I mistake _her _for anyone else on earth? I know a man-stealing witch when I see one!"

"Okay, okay, let's say you're right," he said. "We need to think this through."

"No, _you _think this through," she answered. "_I _am going to go homicidal-maniac on that _seið-kona,_ and that is going to be the _end_ of it!"

He put a hand on her shoulder. "Astrid, wait! She was never much impressed by your warlike ways, was she? This is what _I'd_ do if I were you..."

Heather reached the end of the street. There were three houses there, but one was quite old and there was no one home in the other; only the one in the middle could be the one she was looking for. She walked up to it, took a deep breath, and knocked on the door. She heard Astrid call, "Just a moment!" Great. She'd hoped she might be able to face Hiccup first.

The door opened... and Heather was taken aback. It was Astrid, all right. But she wasn't wearing her spiked skirt, heavy boots, and metal shoulder pads. Instead, she was wearing a white linen dress that fell to her ankles, with dainty white shoes. A royal-blue sash around her waist carried her ring of keys. On her brow was the white-gold circlet with the sapphire that Heather had given to Hiccup as a parting gift. She smiled innocently.

Heather's clothes were nicer than the patched outfit she'd worn the last time she came to Berk, but they suddenly seemed very shabby. She felt her face to see if there was dirt on it. Astrid let a grin play at the edges of her mouth. _Hiccup sure got this one right,_ she thought.

"Is there something I can help you with?" she asked in her most innocent, girlish tone.

"Uhhh... hello again, Astrid. Could I talk to Hiccup for a minute?"

Astrid turned and called into the house, "Honey-kins, there's someone at the door for you!"

"Who is it, Lambie-pie?" They had agreed, very early in their marriage, that they both _hated _insipid pet-names like those. But Astrid watched Heather squirm, and decided that even the most awful pet-names had their uses.

"Someone from the past." They heard his syncopated footsteps approaching, and then he looked over Astrid's shoulder at Heather.

Her heart leaped when she saw him. She forced herself not to dwell on that. He was married, and it clearly was no sham marriage. The love between those two was so obvious, she could almost reach out and touch it. If she'd had any dreams about him, those dreams had to die. It was going to be hard. But that was no one's fault but her own.

He wasn't sure how he would feel when he saw her again. She smiled when she saw him, and for just a moment, he felt some of those old feelings welling up again. But then he glanced at his wife, and his feelings for Heather seemed unclean. He'd half-expected that he'd react like that, and had planned accordingly – did Astrid think he'd asked her to dress up _just _to throw Heather off her stride? No, his loving, lovely wife had done _everything _to captivate his heart, and he was now sure that she'd succeeded. Her claws were in him deeply, and he liked it that way.

"Oh. Hello," he said. "We weren't expecting you."

"I know," she began. "I know I promised I'd sail away and never come back, but –"

"That's okay," Astrid purred. "We aren't upset. We didn't really expect you to keep your word."

"Look, can we dispense with the verbal fencing?" Heather was losing her composure. "You two have me at a complete disadvantage. I desperately need help, and the kind of help I need, no one can give me except you. I'm at your mercy. Please, can we talk for a few minutes?"

Astrid dropped the lambie-pie act. "You are not welcome in this house."

"Then can we talk in the Mead Hall?"

Astrid glanced at Hiccup, who cleared his throat. "Heather, Astrid made arrangements to cook me a special supper tonight. When we're done eating, we'll look for you in the Mead Hall. I'm sure you can afford to buy a meal for yourself there, can't you?" She nodded glumly. "Good. We'll see you then." Astrid smiled triumphantly and closed the door.

"Well played, Honey-kins," she whispered, and kissed him on the cheek.


	20. Chapter 24

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 24

The first thing Astrid did was change back into her usual clothes. When they were done cooking and eating the fish (which turned out a bit dry but very tasty), they walked hand-in-hand to the Mead Hall. They found Heather sitting by herself in a corner, poking at the remnants of her fish roll. She waited until they were almost at her table before she looked up. That had to be an act – his metallic footsteps couldn't be mistaken for anyone else's. They sat down across from her.

"What have you done this time?" Astrid asked.

"Bergsveinn divorced me," she said. "Don't ask me why, but it really isn't my fault. I hurt his pride, and he means to kill me. Really kill me. My family is probably safe, but I need protection."

"You won't find much protection here," Hiccup replied. "People here don't seem to think nice things about you anymore."

"If I could marry a strong warrior to protect me, I would, but there aren't any takers for the position," she said. "If I could hire a bodyguard, I would, but I'm afraid Bergsveinn could outbid me and turn my own guardian into my assassin. The only thing I can think of is if you two would help me train a dragon. Then I'd have a faithful protector who wouldn't care about my reputation."

"Huh. Here's my first question," Hiccup said. "Can you convince us you're not trying to get some dragons for Alvin again?"

Her face fell even further. "No. I can't think of anything I could say that would convince you."

"Second question," Astrid continued. "After the way you treated me the first time, and the heartache you put Hiccup through the second time, did you really think we'd _want _to help you a third time?"

"I knew it wasn't much of a chance," Heather said, "but it's the only chance I've got. I have a psychopathic killer on my trail – I'm running out of options!"

"Did you ever consider marrying a farmer and settling down to the life of a nice, safe 'nobody'?" Hiccup wondered. "You've crossed the Outcasts, you've run into pirates, you've enraged your husband, you've upset this whole village... what are you going to do for an encore? Make the gods themselves mad at you?"

"Honestly, I think they've always been mad at me," she muttered.

"There's another thing to consider," he went on. "Berk is the only village we know that has made peace with the dragons. If you train one, there's no place else you can go without attracting a bunch of dragon slayers; you'd have to settle here. I think that might make a lot of people uncomfortable, especially you, not to mention me and my _wife_." He put his arm around Astrid to emphasize the point.

"I hadn't thought of that," she sighed.

"So where does that leave your plan?" Astrid wondered.

"I have no plan now," she said bleakly. "I guess I just have to keep running and looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life, until my luck runs out."

"I assume you still have some money to work with?" Hiccup asked.

"Yes, thanks to you, I have no worries there," she nodded. She rose from her bench. "I guess I'd better take my boat back out to sea. There's nothing for me here."

"You're going sailing in unfamiliar waters at night?" Hiccup exclaimed. "Heather, I thought you were smarter than that! You know you can sleep in Berk's guest home for a couple of coppers."

"Hiccup, Berk is the first place Bergsveinn will come looking for me!" she answered. "He knows I lived here once, and he thinks I've still got you on my mind. I can't stay here; it's not safe for me."

Hiccup glanced at Astrid. "What do you think? Would Stormfly like to join Toothless and pull an all-nighter?"

"What are you saying?" Heather asked.

"We can set our dragons to guard the guest home," Astrid said. "We can do that much for you, at least. You've ridden both of them in the past; they seem to like you, though I sometimes wonder why. It won't cost us anything, and... maybe you'll get a good night's sleep."

Heather sat down again, shaking her head. "I wasn't expecting anything from you at this point. Are you messing with my head on purpose?"

"No, we're just making it up as we go along, as usual," Hiccup smiled. "You go talk to Spitelout's wife; she's in charge of the guest home. We'll round up your security detail."

Heather wasn't at all sure how well she'd sleep in the guest home. It had been her and Hiccup's home during their short-lived marriage, and it still looked exactly the way it did when she had shared it with the only man she had ever let herself love. Now that man was married to someone else, and she had the guest house to herself. She tried moving some of the furniture around, just so it wouldn't look so heartbreakingly familiar.

Outside, Hiccup and Astrid were giving their dragons their instructions for the night. They decided to keep it simple. "Protect Heather!" was all they said. The dragons appeared to understand. Hiccup and Astrid returned to their home as the last of the daylight faded into night.

They were awakened early the next morning by a pounding on the door. It was Snotlout. "You guys better get down to the guest home! My mother says there's something going on down there!" They dressed quickly and ran to the guest home.

They beheld a grisly sight. A man they didn't recognize had been nailed to the guest-house wall by Nadder spines. The venom would have killed him, if the spines themselves hadn't killed him first. Toothless had pinned another stranger to the ground with a paw. When Hiccup ordered his dragon to let him go, the man didn't move. He'd died from fright. Heather was clinging to the door frame, pale, wide-eyed and speechless. Stoick was examining the dead men.

"They protected her, all right," Astrid said, shaking her head.

"You weren't exaggerating when you said it was life or death," Stoick said to Heather. Both of the men were clutching wicked-looking daggers, and each had a small leather poke dangling from his belt. The pouches held about a dozen silver coins each.

"That's not much of a payment for a murder, is it?" Hiccup asked.

"That's partial payment," Heather said. "Bergsveinn isn't stupid; he wouldn't give it all to them up front. They'd get the rest when they came back and showed him my dead body. He'll give them a couple of days to do the job, then a week to sail home. If they don't show, he'll try again."

"Are you saying there will be more murderers here in about two weeks?" Stoick asked pointedly. "I don't like the idea of assassins running loose around my village."

"That won't happen. I know Bergsveinn," Heather answered. "If his first plan fails, he'll come after me himself. In about two weeks, like you said."

They all looked at each other. Heather finally broke the silence. "I really hate to ask this, but..."

"You want to spend the next two weeks here." Astrid finished the thought for her.

"I know you'd all love to pick me up and throw me off the cliffs if you could," she said quickly. "I don't have anything to bargain with. I'm just asking 'please.' If I keep running, then he'll keep following me, and he holds all the cards. If I let him come to me, then we can deal with him when he arrives."

"Who is this 'we' of whom you speak?" Stoick demanded.

Hiccup glanced at Astrid, who shrugged. "None of us wants to see Heather dead," he said. "But I think we need to set some terms."

"Agreed," the chief nodded. "My terms are, you need to earn your keep while you stay. What are you good at doing?"

Heather counted on her fingers. "Getting married... getting divorced... upsetting people... causing trouble..."

"About the only work I could offer you is to help in the Mead Hall," Stoick said. "It's demeaning work; I usually assign it as punishment for minor offenses."

"I'll take it," she sighed. "One thing life has taught me is that I can't afford to be proud."

"My terms are simple," Astrid growled. "If I catch you even _glancing _at my husband in a way I don't like, you'd better hope Bergsveinn catches you before I do."

"My only terms are that we set a firm time limit on this," Hiccup said. "Say, two weeks and four days? If Bergsveinn doesn't show, and if he doesn't send any more lackeys to do his dirty work, then your assumption was wrong, and you move on."

"I have no choice but to accept," she said, looking down at the dead man on the ground.


	21. Chapter 25

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 25

Heather settled into the dismal routine of helping in the Mead Hall every day. That meant peeling vegetables, taking out garbage, cleaning messes in the Hall, washing dishes, and everything else that the cooks didn't want to do. She somehow kept a pleasant attitude, and eventually won the friendship of most of the cooks and their helpers. They let her take breaks from her drudge work by sending her to the market to get produce and bread for the meals.

A week into her stay, Trader Johann's ship arrived. The head cook lamented, "I would just _love _to get some cinnamon from him! I could do something really special for tonight's meal. But we've spent all our spare money for the month already. Oh, well." Heather used her lunch break to visit Johann, and bought a tin of cinnamon with her own money. The cook was nearly speechless with delight.

As the two-week mark drew near, Heather grew noticeably more nervous. Hiccup and Astrid kept their dragons on guard duty for her at night, but it didn't ease her nerves. "It's not that I don't trust the dragons," she told them. "It's that I know Bergsveinn. What if he catches me in the daytime when I'm not being guarded?"

"We could arrange for Snotlout to guard you," Hiccup suggested. "You and I both know he'd leap at the chance. He wouldn't have to be as strong as Bergsveinn; as long as he was there as a witness, your ex-husband wouldn't dare strike you down."

"It _would _have to be Snotlout," she sighed. "He'd get all kinds of ideas."

"As you're so fond of saying, you may not have much choice in the matter," Astrid said. "But I had another thought. If Bergsveinn comes from such a powerful family, then will it start a war between your homeland and Berk if our dragons kill him?"

"It might," she nodded reluctantly. "Can you train your dragons to capture him without killing him?"

"Given enough time, we could, but we're running out of time," Hiccup said. "Astrid and I had a different idea..."

Two weeks and a day after the first attack, a small ship quietly coasted into Berk's harbor under cover of darkness. A solitary figure crept up the ramps to ground level and stopped. He had been here only once before, and it took him a few seconds to remember where the guest house was. The full moon gave him plenty of light to find his way.

He crept to the door and eased it open. The glowing fire pit enabled him to see inside. There in the bed lay Heather... asleep in the arms of that triple-cursed _bean-pole!_

"_HEATHER!_" he screamed, drawing his sword so it rang. They both sat bolt-upright. "You unfaithful _witch!_ I knew I'd find you here with _him!_ Now you'll finally get what you deserve, _both_ of you!" He raised his sword, took a long step toward the bed –

...and Heather leaped out of bed and grabbed an axe that was leaning against the wall.

Bergsveinn relaxed and laughed. "Oh, this is just too good! I was wondering how I'd escape the social disapproval when a man kills a woman. Now I can say it was self-defense! I'll tell you what – I'll even let you take the first swing. If you can _swing _that axe, of course. You were never the strongest –"

"_YAAAHHH!_" She leaped at him faster than he expected, and swung with a force he never foresaw. He started backwards in surprise, and that probably saved his life. Her blow knocked his blade aside and raked his chest, slicing his clothes open from shoulder to shoulder and opening a shallow but painful cut. Before he could swing back, she had leaped away and raised the axe for a second strike.

"By the way," she growled. "I'm not Heather." She pulled off a dark wig, revealing blonde hair underneath.

"First blood goes to my wife," Hiccup commented. He had pulled a short sword from under the bed, and was standing in a defensive position. "What will it be, Bergsveinn? You're not going to find Heather here. Do you want to fight the best axe-warrior in the village, on her chosen terrain, even though you won't get any revenge out of it?"

"You hold that sword poorly, bean-pole. I could cut you down with one hand behind my back."

"_I_ would cut _you_ down before you took two steps toward him," Astrid warned him.

What kind of insane tribe was this, where the women did the fighting to protect their husbands? He'd sort this out later. Bergsveinn turned and ran – about one step. The doorway was suddenly filled with a huge snarling black head that seemed to be mostly teeth. He considered attacking the dragon, but realized he'd have to turn his back on the warrior woman to do it. He was cornered. He backed away two steps and glared at them.

"What do you want?" he muttered.

"Slide your sword under the bed," Astrid said, "and sit down on the floor. I am going to watch you until Hiccup comes back with some witnesses. I'd prefer not to kill you, but I'll take your head off in a heartbeat if I think I have to." He considered the glare in her eyes, slid his sword under the bed, and sat down. Hiccup stepped out of the house; the dragon moved his head enough to let him by.

"Protect Astrid!" he told the Night Fury. Toothless growled.

"Dragons take _orders _from you?" Bergsveinn asked. "What kinds of witches do you grow on this island?

"Did you wonder what happened to your two lackeys?" Astrid said to him. "We told our dragons to protect Heather. End of story." He glanced nervously at the black dragon.

"I knew I should have done it myself instead of sending those idiots." After a minute, he looked up at Astrid. "My family is not going to like it when they hear about this insult."

"Oh, really?" she asked. "You're planning to _tell _them how a woman defeated you?"

_That _didn't work. "I don't suppose we could make a deal?"

"What kind of a deal?" she asked, pretending to be interested.

"I'm a rich man from a powerful family," he went on. "In exchange for something shiny in your purse, could you give me a five-minute head start towards my ship?"

"An interesting thought," she nodded. "Too bad for you, I'm married to the son of the chief, and I already have all the shiny things I ever wanted."

"That _bean-pole_ is the son of your _chief?_" he asked in amazement. After another minute, he put on his most winning expression. "Did you ever wonder what it would be like, being married to a _real_ man?"

"You'll be a real man without a _nose_ if you say one more word against my husband," she snarled. Now he was out of ideas, so he just sat.

Hiccup returned about ten minutes later with a lantern, Stoick, Spitelout, and Heather, who had slept in the Mead Hall for the past two nights. She took one glance and said, "Yes, that is the man."

"I mentioned those other two murderers, and he admitted he sent them," Astrid added.

"Three counts of attempted murder," Stoick mused, stroking his beard. "Four, since Hiccup says you threatened him as well. You'll get a fair hearing, but it shouldn't take long. You were stupid in front of too many witnesses."

"If you take my life," Bergsveinn quavered, "you will bring such wrath upon your heads as you cannot imagine."

"Very poetic, Bergsveinn, but not likely," Stoick countered. "I didn't become chief of this village by ignoring politics. Killing you would be satisfying, but not in our best interests. I think we can find something better to do with you..."

**o**

Hiccup rested one hand on Toothless' neck, and the other on Astrid's shoulder. "A man never had two more faithful protectors," he smiled.

"You probably don't feel this way," Heather added, "but a girl never had a more faithful group of friends."

"We'll withhold judgment on that one," Astrid said.

"Maybe you don't feel like a friend," Heather countered, "but you've _acted_ like one. Thanks to you, I've got my life, I've got freedom, I'm not afraid... I've got hope. That's something new for me. And you finally got to use all that axe training on a live target."

"Well, there _is _that," Astrid shrugged.

"I understand you really mean to leave this time?" Stoick asked.

"I want to put some real distance between me and here," she answered. "You've done a lot for me, and I'd like to repay you by giving you what you really want, which is a total absence of 'me.' I'm going to go home, say goodbye to my parents, and take a ship across the sea to the Danelaw, or maybe Eire. Viking women are in short supply out there. I'm young, I'm not bad-looking, and I've got my little box. Maybe I can find a husband of my _own _choosing, and keep him for more than a month or two."

"We all wish you well," Hiccup said. Astrid nodded half-heartedly.

"Thank you, all of you. For everything." Heather took one last sad look at Hiccup, turned, and walked down the ramps to where Bergsveinn's small ship waited. In the absence of any other claimants, it was hers now.

They watched her sail away. "Do you think we've seen the last of her?" Stoick wondered.

"She keeps saying 'never again,' and she keeps showing up again, with a new kind of distress every time," Hiccup noted. "I really don't think she's evil; she's just a walking shipwreck. If life ever gave her half a chance, she might – OW!" Astrid had just whacked him in the arm.

"She's gone now, Hiccup. You can stop trying to say nice things about her."

Hiccup grinned. "What's the matter? Are you afraid I'm going to run out of nice things to say, and leave you with nothing?"

She rested her hands on his shoulders. "I am exercising my right as your wife, and I'm claiming every nice thing you could ever say about any girl." She pulled him a bit closer. "So... say something nice about me."

"You have good taste in men," he smiled. "OW! I guess some things will never change."

"I'll tell you something _else _that will never change," she said quietly. "You will _never _see me walking away from you, like she keeps doing. In fact, since you obviously need your arm whacked at regular intervals, that means I'll have to stay by your side for the rest of your life."

"I can live with that." He took her in his arms. "You have _no idea_ how much I can live with that!"

**o**

The Berk ship hove-to off the coast of Outcast Island, flying the red flag that meant they carried a new citizen for the island. The rules were strict; in order to keep the Outcasts from siezing a ship, they could send only a rowboat with a single oarsman to collect the newest Outcast. Alvin, Savage, and the others waited at their ramshackle dock to greet the new arrival.

They took one look at his fancy clothing and began shouting crude comments. "Oi! They sent us a regular perfumed _prince,_ they did!" Savage mocked. "Didn't you bring your _butler_ with you?"

Bergsveinn tried to maintain his dignity. "Well, I'm here, and there's nothing I can do about it. What, exactly, do Outcasts do?"

"Oh, I've got something _special_ to get _you_ started," Alvin grinned. He handed the new arrival a shovel. "The pig pen needs to be cleaned out, and guess who's going to do the cleaning?" Everyone laughed uproariously, except Bergsveinn for some reason.


	22. Chapter 26

**The Heather Channel** Chapter 26

The big longship made its slow, steady way across the North Sea, carrying a cargo of trade goods and about a dozen passengers. All of them took their turn at the oars alongside the sailors when the winds were against them, which was most of the time. A few of them got violently seasick from the action of the waves. Heather earned the sailors' gratitude by cleaning up the mess. It didn't bother her; someone had to do it, and it wasn't that much worse than her work in Berk's Mead Hall.

Every now and then, they thought they saw the top of another sail, just over the horizon. It wasn't drawing closer or further away, so they didn't fret over it. But they kept an eye on it, just in case.

Heather was finally on her way to her new life. She'd said goodbye to her parents, probably forever, and bought passage on a ship bound for the Danelaw. She was leaving behind everything and everyone she'd ever known, in the hopes that she'd find something better in the land of the Angles and the Saxons. Given the string of disasters she'd encountered in the recent past, whatever lay ahead _had _to be better than what she was leaving.

Except for Hiccup. He was no longer hers to claim or to long for. But part of her still missed him terribly.

She gave up her oar to a sailor who was coming on duty, and stepped forward to the space she'd made for herself among the cargo. Her hands were toughening quickly from the work of rowing; her blisters were fading to calluses, and her muscles, though sore, were getting stronger. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath of the sea wind. A minute later, that wind reversed its direction from off the bow to off the stern.

"Ship your oars!" the captain shouted. "Raise the sail! Steer a bit more to port! We have to take advantage of this wind while we've got it!" The ship bustled with activity as the sailors carried out their orders.

After a few minutes, someone else shouted, "They're getting closer." Sure enough, the ship behind them had cleared the horizon and was continuing to gain on them.

"What do you make of them?" the helmsman asked his captain.

"Probably pirates, by the look of their sail," the captain muttered. Heather decided, then and there, that she'd jump over the side and drown before she'd let herself be captured by pirates again.

Nearly everyone's eyes were on the strange ship that was slowly overtaking them. One sailor glanced forward, however. "Oh, Thor, have mercy! As if we didn't have enough trouble!" They all looked where he was pointing. A huge dark shape was making circles in the sky just ahead of them; it was far too big to be a sea bird.

"A dragon in front of us, pirates behind us," the captain mused, as though he were deciding what to eat for breakfast. "What do you think of our chances, men?"

"The pirates might let some of us live if they think they can get a ransom," a man in fancy clothes said. "The dragon will kill us all."

"The pirates could torture us," the helmsman replied. "The dragon will get it over with quickly." Heather was inclined to agree with him, until she took another look at the dragon. She recognized the type.

"What if we didn't have to choose between the two?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" the captain demanded.

"I've spent some time on the island of Berk, where they train dragons and ride them," she said. "What if I could pacify that dragon, and then use it to keep the pirates away?"

"What are you – some kind of _seið-kona?_" the fancy man's wife exclaimed with distaste.

"I wish people would quit calling me that!" she shot back. "Please let me try it; you've got nothing to lose. If I succeed, I could save us all. If I fail, I'll be dead, but the rest of you will be no worse off than you are right now."

"You're brave – I'll give you that," the captain said grudgingly. "What do we need to do?"

"I'll need some food that dragons like. Fish, or chicken if we have any. When it approaches the ship, everyone except me should get into the bow with the cargo, so the stern deck is clear for it to land. I'll do the rest."

The wind carried them on toward the circling dragon. The pirates were closing the gap between them. It looked like they had extra rowing positions, and two men on each oar, in addition to their sail – no wonder they were moving so fast! Then the dragon decided to make its move.

It swept downward in a graceful curving trajectory. It was a Deadly Nadder, similar in color to Stormfly but not as big. It straightened out and aimed itself right at them. All the sailors and crew fled to the bow, leaving Heather very much alone in the stern.

"Hey! Dragon! Come here!" she shouted, waving a foot-long fish in each hand. "I want to talk to you!" _What I really want,_ she thought, _is the Book of Dragons, so I could refresh my memory about how to train a Deadly Nadder. I hope I didn't forget anything important._

The Nadder was on the verge of breathing fire, but it stopped itself. It circled them again at close range, keeping one curious eye on Heather. The pirates stopped rowing; if the dragon attacked their prey, they didn't want to be too close, but they still wanted to be able to pick through the wreckage for valuables.

"Come on down, dragon!" she called again.

"I sure hope you know what you're doing!" called the fancy man.

_So do I,_ she thought.

After another half-circle, the dragon angled its wings and gently landed on the quarterdeck. The ship settled by the stern under its weight. It glared at Heather and made a squawking noise.

"Here you go," she called, and tossed one of her fish to it. It snapped the fish out of the air, and turned its head to watch her out of the other eye. She threw it the other fish.

"How about that?" she asked. "I bet people were never nice to you before. I'd like to be your friend." She held out her open hands. "See? No weapons. I'm harmless and I'm friendly." She took a slow step toward it.

It turned sideways, and its tail spines shot erect with a ghastly rattling sound that all Vikings feared. In the bow, the sailors and passengers gasped and tried to hide behind the crates and barrels of cargo.

Heather froze. She forced herself to stand her ground. "It's okay!" she made herself say. "It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you." She took another step.

This wasn't a big Nadder; it was probably a young dragon. It kept one eye on her. The spines were ready to shoot, but it didn't look like its tail was cocked in a shooting position. She slowly closed the distance to the dragon, saying peaceful things, making no sudden moves, holding eye contact with it. No one else on the ship moved a muscle.

"You're a very pretty dragon," she said. "Unless you're a boy, in which case you're a very handsome dragon. Sorry, I can't tell the difference." She hesitantly reached out to touch its tail.

It flinched away, and for a moment, she thought it was going to throw its spines at her. But she stayed where she was, hand outstretched, looking into the dragon's eye. It slowly brought its tail back until it brushed against her fingertips. She stroked it, and the spines began to relax.

"Do you like that? I could do that for you every day if you wanted me to," she said softly. The Nadder reached its head back to her; she scratched its neck, and the dragon crooned in delight. Up in the bow, she heard a rush of air, as though several dozen people who'd been holding their breath had suddenly exhaled. She kept her attention on her dragon.

A wave broke over the gunwales, and water slopped on the deck. "I think you and I should get off this ship before you sink her," she told the dragon. "What do you think? Can I go flying with you?" She made a gesture that she hoped looked like flying. The dragon crouched; she used its knee as a step, climbed onto its back, braced herself, and shouted, "Let's go!"

The Nadder sprang into the air, and she nearly fell off. She felt the dragon adjust its attitude in the air so it wouldn't lose her. Reassured, she leaned forward. "Good work, dragon! Did you come out here to attack some people? You shouldn't attack the people on the ship we just left; they're good people. But do you see that other ship?" She pointed. "Those are _bad _people. If you want to set _their _ship on fire, that would be _great_."

The dragon dipped one wing in a sharp turn, straightened its neck, and went into a shallow dive, aiming itself like an arrow at the pirates. It pulled up as it passed over them and unleashed a blast of superheated flame. The sail was sliced in half by the blaze, and the mast began to burn as well. The flaming lower half of the sail fluttered down onto some of the pirates, who either fled to the bow or stern or jumped overboard to escape the fire. Their fellow pirates threw two spears and a hand axe at the dragon, but they all missed badly. When they saw the Nadder curling around for another attack, they all jumped into the sea, preferring the near-certainty of freezing and drowning to the absolute certainty of burning to death.

Heather felt herself smiling savagely. "I'm not a killer," she told the dragon, "but _that_ felt good. If you stay with me, I'm going to call you Avenger." The dragon snorted eagerly and prepared to set the pirate ship's hull ablaze.

"No! Don't shoot!" she suddenly exclaimed. She nudged one of the dragon's horns to change her course. The Nadder looked back at her in confusion. "They had a prisoner! See? There's a young man still in the bow, all tied up! We'll land on deck, set him free, and get him to safety, and _then _you can blast the ship, okay?"

It took her a few tries to get the dragon to understand, but with many gestures, she got the message across. The dragon landed as lightly as it could on the deck, which nearly sank the ship – this vessel was a lot smaller than the ship she'd been riding a few minutes ago. She slid off the dragon's back, drew her belt seax, and stepped forward to rescue the hostage.

He cringed and pulled away from her in terror.

"It's okay!" she exclaimed in surprise. "Do you think I'm going to hurt you?"

"You've got a knife... you've got a dragon... you're burning the ship... what am I supposed to think?" he stammered.

"You're supposed to turn around so I can cut those ropes off your arms," she retorted. After a moment, he did so. Her blade was sharp, and made short work of the ropes that bound him. He stood, stretched, and massaged his wrists.

"I guess I should say 'thank you'," he began, "even if you did scare the life out of me." He puffed out his chest, which didn't amount to much. "Let me introduce myself. I am Leif, son of Thorn, adventurer for hire!"

"I'm Heather," she nodded, "and it doesn't look like your adventure was going very well."

He slumped. "No, my new career didn't get off to a very good start, did it? At least I've still got my life, and that's something."

"Your new career?" she wondered. "What was your old career?"

"A farmer," he said, as though ashamed of it. "A plain, simple farmer. My father left me some land in the Danelaw, out in the middle of nowhere, and it was working out pretty well, but..."

"But what?" she asked.

He hung his head. "It got lonely, farming all by myself," he said. "That's not a very manly attitude, but that's me. Single girls in the Danelaw are few and far between, and they don't like farmers. They like the bad boys, the manly men, the _real _Vikings! So I sold my plow and my tools, bought a sword, and set out on a new life. The idea was that I'd have some adventures, win some treasure, come home, and find a girl to impress. Instead, I got captured on my first voyage, lost the sword, and if you hadn't come along, they probably would have killed me. Speaking of which, what's the arrangement with you and that dragon?"

"Oh, we just met. We're learning to be friends," she said casually. "He's very handy for scaring pirates away." Her mind wasn't on that part of the conversation. "So what are you going to do next, Leif? Go back to your farm?"

"What's the use of that?" he exclaimed. "I'd still be lonely, and I sold all my tools. If I was going to be a farmer now, not only would I need a wife who doesn't go for the bad boys, I'd need a wife with some money to buy another plow and stuff."

Her mind was spinning now. He wasn't handsome, but he wasn't bad-looking, either. He had land and knew how to till it, he wasn't full of himself, he'd be grateful for the wealth in her little treasure chest, he was no brute...

...and his eyes were green.

She remembered the words of someone else with green eyes. "Did you ever consider marrying a farmer and settling down to the life of a nice, safe 'nobody'?"

"What if you found a girl like that?" she smiled.

He snorted. "I'd marry her in a cold minute! But girls like that don't exactly grow on trees!"

"No, you're right," she nodded. "Girls with money, who prefer a plain, simple farmer to the bad boys, _don't_ grow on trees.

"But if you look carefully, you _might _find one growing in a patch of heather."

He looked confused for a few seconds, then startled. Then he smiled at her for the first time.

"Do you think you could teach the dragon to be friends with me, too?"

On that abandoned, burning pirate ship, with a dragon and a failed adventurer for companions, she somehow knew that her life had _finally _changed for the better.

___THE END_


End file.
